https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 06:46:52 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60427 Fri, 07 May 2004 19:18:03 +0000
I adore Leonard Cohen, so how could I not love what you made with it?
It's stunning...thank you.
I walk proudly in the sunlight
That once drove me away is cool...kinda like a vampire;)
and the ending, yay,and just everything.you're so talented.
I can feel this.

oh and I just listen to your "everything's eventual"...so you even got a beautiful voice, too*littlejealous*, no I like it when voices are not 'smooth'and so on but rather rosty(?), hoarse and always like close to breaking(kind of reminds me of my beloved Conor Oberst)...ah I'm sure you know what I mean...emotion is carried through the tongue
but I wanted to say something about your song...maybe you remember that I was dying to hear the bridge which I loved from the beginning- it turned out awesome, real emotional I'm touched.
also I like the music...and the way you slightly change the rhythm in the 3rd line of the chorus...argh I want to be able to do that too...the way your lyrics rhyme although they sometimes don't really seem to when you just read them...oh and I like the 'hover over' thing:)

alright, thanks for sharing this with us.
I take a bow.
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60427 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60230 Wed, 05 May 2004 00:44:42 +0000
Olav, your meaning rang through clear as a bell. It was just the way the line was structured that threw me a bit. And additionally, it's a terrific word, fits very well in this context. I just wasn't accustomed to seeing it used as a verb. But as I said originally, it's very nit-picky on my part. However, I'll probably continue to be nit-picky on your posts as well as Marvs, now that I know that you hail from (close enough to) my homeland. :)

So no worries, Olav, the meaning was clear and the word was / is good. Just a matter of re-ordering.

Best,

-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60230 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60229 Wed, 05 May 2004 00:32:06 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group MarvelousOptimist https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60229 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60228 Wed, 05 May 2004 00:21:50 +0000 So what did I want it to say?
Rhymezone.com gives it this definition
Respite:
Noun: a (temporary) relief from harm or discomfort

As in getting relief from the burden of being someone he is not. That’s what I was trying to say, although the grammar was not quite right.
Thanks guys
Blessings.
Olav]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60228 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60220 Tue, 04 May 2004 22:56:45 +0000 Actually, the usage of the word respite is my doing, and yes you are right it is not correct grammar. Your suggestion works well and it says what I wanted it to say.
Thanks.
Blessings. Olav]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Olav https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60220 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60218 Tue, 04 May 2004 22:36:44 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group MarvelousOptimist https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60218 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60217 Tue, 04 May 2004 22:30:24 +0000
I know it wasn't your line, but I always feel like I'm not working at it hard enough if I can't find something to improve, even just a little. Who's line is it, anwyway? Olav?, Bluenightangel?, ATB?

-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60217 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60216 Tue, 04 May 2004 22:17:47 +0000
Respite (Res"pite), v. t.



To give or grant a respite to. Specifically: (a) To delay or postpone; to put off. (b) To keep back from execution; to reprieve. "Forty days longer we do respite you." Shak. (c) To relieve by a pause or interval of rest. "To respite his day labor with repast." Milton.

its fun to nit-pick sometimes.
-Marv]]> Sunday Songwriters Group MarvelousOptimist https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60216 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60213 Tue, 04 May 2004 22:02:18 +0000 Well Done!
I don't have a problem with the first line, it seems to fit well. The only line I don't really care for, is "where I respite this mask." Respite is a noun, not a verb, and it's awkward to use it as a verb. As I read somewhere else, I can't remember where -- "Verbing weirds the language." You might try:

"To a place hidden deep within,
I take respite from this mask"

Pretty nit-picky I guess, but excellent work.

-- Scratch]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60213 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60211 Tue, 04 May 2004 21:24:08 +0000 You drove this one in a totally different direction than I had anticipated when I started, but you sure did an awesome job.
The only thing that made me stumble a little is the first line. Not sure if there is anything you can do there though. I dont have a good suggestion
Blessings. Olav]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Olav https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-27-marv/#post-60211