https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 17:53:14 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62336 Mon, 14 Jun 2004 23:20:57 +0000
Good flow to the song works quite well

Good stuff

Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62336 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62276 Sun, 13 Jun 2004 03:32:15 +0000 My only quibble would be that you keep changing the metaphors. It starts off being about the sword of damocles then goes to a dog worrying a bone. I think both of them would make for good songs but I would like to see you work with one or the other. Maybe you could try expanding one of these themes. What do other people think?
Beren Now you've pointed it out I can see what you mean - not so much changing as clashing metaphors -in my mind I was extending the metaphors....or adding another simile for effect........ I tried playing and singing it again, but I'd revised it already and having improved on it once didn't see how it could be more improved - maybe this is my biggest fault as a songwriter, I don't want to recognise - and therefore don't recognise - any faults in my songs once they're finished - but if you can suggest a way of changing that verse so it makes better sense, I'll give it a try.....

Don't forget, every parent thinks their child is perfect - it's the evil auntie who spots the birthmark..........

Then again surgery is sometimes required............]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62276 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62235 Sat, 12 Jun 2004 07:03:11 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group bstguitarist https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62235 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62209 Fri, 11 Jun 2004 17:56:16 +0000
A :-)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62209 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62198 Fri, 11 Jun 2004 13:37:23 +0000 What I like about this song is that each verse neatly takes us a little bit further along the story without ever telling us too much. Its like a good short story where you catch a fraction of what is going on but never quite know what came before or after. The rhythm and rhymes are all good too.
My only quibble would be that you keep changing the metaphors. It starts off being about the sword of damocles then goes to a dog worrying a bone. I think both of them would make for good songs but I would like to see you work with one or the other. Maybe you could try expanding one of these themes. What do other people think?
Still I think its a well told story. Its amazing what you can do in 10 minutes isn't it?
Beren]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Beren https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-62198 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-2621 Fri, 11 Jun 2004 07:04:23 +0000
Stupid Mistake

I made a stupid mistake,I paid for it,
But you still hang it over my head,
Like the Sword of Damocles,
Suspended by a single thread....

I did something wrong now you're nagging at it,
Like a dog worrying a bone,
Why can't you just let it lie,
Why can't you just leave it alone

Every time we exchange cross words,
Every single time we argue,
You drag up every mistake I've ever made,
It's always me who's wrong, never you...........

I went to Prison, did my time,
Now the slate should be wiped clean,
I paid my debt to society,
But never to you you're far too mean.....

You'll never let me forget,
The one big mistake I made,
And you'll never let it rest,
Until my dying day.....

Every time we exchange cross words,
Every single time we argue,
You drag up every mistake I've ever made,
It's always me who's wrong, never you...........

You'll never let me forget,
The one big mistake I made,
And you'll never let it rest,
Until my dying day.....

it goes verse 1, verse 2, chorus 1, verse 3, chorus 2, chorus 1, chorus 2..

G/Em/C/D for verses....

G/F/C for first and 3rd lines of chorus,
G/F/D for 2nd & 4th

They say the best ones are autobiographical.......................

Vic

:)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-32-new-to-this/#post-2621