https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 19:00:28 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-113034 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 20:37:21 +0000
Great job.

SfDean.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sfdean https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-113034 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-113016 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 19:29:06 +0000 AND IF YOU'D FELT ME ACHE FOR YOU
WHILE WAITING IN THE WINGS
WOULD YOU LET YOUR HEARTFELT MONOLOGUE
BE UPSTAGED BY HEARTFELT FEELINGS To:

AND IF YOU'D FELT ME ACHE FOR YOU
WHILE WAITING IN THE WINGS
WOULD YOU LET YOUR NEXT LOVE SCENE BE
UPSTAGED BY THE LOVE YOU'RE FEELING]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-113016 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-112864 Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:25:13 +0000
1. I think your first verse is terrific. I liked your original version the best. I especially liked (A) your use of all the poetic tools, assonance, alliteration, internal rhyme, etc: (this wasn't what... you the ingenue...just the guy who shines the star on the door) (B) "no small parts, just small actors"--GREAT line, perfectly used, and I can just hear it said by the object of the song in attempted refutation of the singer.

2. Your second verse isn't as strong as the first. The first half of your revised second verse is very strong, very specific, and really connects (although I think it scans better without the "just" before "a comedy of tradgedies"). At the end, though, the line "you'd never let your heartfelt monologue/be upstaged by heartfelt feelings" doesn't quite work for me, either rythmically or lyrically: (A) "heartfelt monologue" is a really, really difficult phrase to work in, because hearfelt wants to be two stressed syllables (though a singer can render it otherwise) and "monologue" doesn't fit well with the rest of the mostly iambic verse; (B) repeating heartfelt doesn't quite work for me. Given your terrific start, I think with some work you could put better lines here.

3. Really great job with the assignment, a nice extended metaphor, a nice dramatic situation (no pun intended) specifically rendered with details. I thnk with a little work this can be a terrific song.

SfDean.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sfdean https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-112864 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111686 Sat, 16 Jul 2005 04:22:31 +0000
Hey Joe,
when are we going to hear some of your stuff ?

pb]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111686 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111668 Sat, 16 Jul 2005 03:28:58 +0000
FADE OUT

YOU SAY THE WORLD’S A STAGE
WELL THIS AIN’T WHAT I SIGNED ON FOR
YOU’RE THE INGENUE AND I’M JUST HERE
TO SHINE THE STAR ON YOUR DOOR

NO SMALL PARTS, JUST SMALL ACTORS
THERE FOR YOU TO IGNORE
WHEN THEY EXIT LEFT YOU REMAIN
FOR JUST ONE MORE ENCORE

OH DIM THE LIGHTS, DRAW THE CURTAIN
BABY, TAKE YOUR FINAL BOW
I’M NOT JUST ANOTHER FACE IN THE CROWD

THIS SHOW IS OVER
LOVE SCENE’S PLAYED OUT
IT’S ONLY YOU IN THE SPOTLIGHT NOW
TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT

I’M DONE WITH YOUR PERFORMANCES
YOUR CONSTANT MELODRAMA
WE WERE JUST A COMEDY OF TRAGEDIES
GREAT SEX, AND LOUSY KARMA

AS LONG AS I WAS ALWAYS THERE
WAITING IN THE WINGS
YOU’D NEVER LET YOUR HEARTFELT MONOLOGUE
BE UPSTAGED BY HEARTFELT FEELINGS

SO DIM THE LIGHTS, DRAW THE CURTAIN
BABY, TAKE YOUR FINAL BOW
I’M NOT JUST ANOTHER FACE IN THE CROWD

THIS SHOW IS OVER
LOVE SCENE’S PLAYED OUT
IT’S ONLY YOU IN THE SPOTLIGHT NOW
TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT

IT’S ONLY YOU IN THE SPOTLIGHT NOW
TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111668 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111411 Fri, 15 Jul 2005 04:44:52 +0000
Oh, and thanks MJ. Glad you liked it.

Joe]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111411 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111360 Fri, 15 Jul 2005 01:34:15 +0000
I think there's a good song in there, but I don't think your there yet.
For me it reads very melodramatic, and if that was your purpose,
then you've done well. The problem for me is I'm not sure how serious to take this song. This leaves me in a little doubt and unease, thats not necessarily a bad thing for a song to do BTW. What were your thoughts ?
:D
pb]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111360 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111270 Thu, 14 Jul 2005 19:23:38 +0000 i really like it, i'm not sure what the music you had it with was like but yeah, as i said i really like it. lol i had to ask someone what ingenue meant, but that's probably just me.
adios!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group mary-jane https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-111270 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-10193 Tue, 12 Jul 2005 05:08:28 +0000 ©2005JKovak

WHEN YOU SAID, THE WORLD'S A STAGE
THIS WASN'T WHAT I BARGAINED FOR
YOU THE INGÉNUE AND ME JUST THE GUY
WHO SHINES THE STAR ON YOUR DOOR

NO SMALL PARTS, JUST SMALL ACTORS
ALL THERE FOR YOU TO IGNORE
THEY EXIT LEFT WHILE YOU REMAIN
FOR JUST ONE MORE ENCORE

OH DIM THE LIGHTS, DRAW THE CURTAIN
BABY TAKE YOUR FINAL BOW
I'M NOT JUST
ANOTHER FACE IN YOUR CROWD

THIS SHOW IS OVER
LOVE SCENES PLAYED OUT
THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ME IN YOUR SPOTLIGHT HONEY
TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT

I'M DONE WITH YOUR PERFORMANCES
YOUR CONSTANT MELODRAMA
WE WERE A COMEDY OF TRAGEDIES
GREAT SEX AND LOUSY KARMA

AND IF YOU'D FELT ME ACHE FOR YOU
WHILE WAITING IN THE WINGS
WOULD YOU LET YOUR NEXT LOVE SCENE BE
UPSTAGED BY THE LOVE YOU'RE FEELING


OH DIM THE LIGHTS, DRAW THE CURTAIN
BABY TAKE YOUR FINAL BOW
I'M NOT JUST
ANOTHER FACE IN YOUR CROWD

THIS SHOW IS OVER
LOVE SCENES PLAYED OUT
THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ME IN YOUR SPOTLIGHT HONEY
TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT

THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ME IN YOUR SPOTLIGHT HONEY
TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT

YEAH TIME FOR ME TO FADE OUT]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-36-fade-out/#post-10193