https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:40:37 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-68442 Tue, 07 Sep 2004 17:10:39 +0000 thanks for explaining it.
such a depth behind it;)

yes please come back here on a regular basis I'd like to read more of your stuff:)
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-68442 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-68257 Mon, 06 Sep 2004 08:46:03 +0000
that should have been a "though". A case of me being a bit lazy with my abreviations... hopefully that alteration will make the first verse make a bit more sense. If the first verse is still confusing, the couple stting at a candlelit dinner both give a pained smile as "the one i love" (by REM) comes on the radio. they both think it ironic, but for different reasons. the girl has given everything to the one she loves, and to her the song is aboout that. to the man he is smiling at 1. her misunderstanding the song 2. what it actually means which is anger at someone he loves/loved leaving him behind... (this goes out to the one i love... fire) in his opinion anyway.
think i'll have to get back in here on a regular basis, as i was in a bit of a rut and this came out of nowhere.

thanks again
sozay]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sozay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-68257 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-68028 Sat, 04 Sep 2004 18:06:41 +0000 And stain you perfect feet this one got me speechless:)

really like this song a lot, you're a great poet.
I can't claim to fully understand the last two lines of verse one but I wouldn't change them...they sound grand.

thanks.
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-68028 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67998 Sat, 04 Sep 2004 10:26:49 +0000
i do have to agree about the first verse as mentioned before. it is a bit confusing for me too. the setting sun motif is really nice. scratch mentioned the shifting pov from you to we to i, i didn't even notice that till scratch said it. after rereading the song and thinking about the shifting pov, it is nice.

i like this sweet little song.

good job.

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67998 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67947 Sat, 04 Sep 2004 00:53:26 +0000
The line Jamir quoted, "Smile thou pained", had me confused though....is it meant to read like that or should it be "Smile though pained"? It seems to work either way I read it, but just changes the sense fractionally....

Good song!!!

:) :) :)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67947 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67910 Fri, 03 Sep 2004 21:19:09 +0000

A great take on the assignment but a tad complex for the listener I think. One line in the beginning smile thou pained caught me at the beginning and stayed in my mind reading the rest. I love these lines though
The skies, the winds, the heavens
Something has weighed down on me
And I fall like rain, right thru your hands
And stain you perfect feet
Maybe if you simplify the first verse a bit so I am not confused before I start. Well just my 2 c worth !!!!

Go well
Ja'mir]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67910 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67841 Fri, 03 Sep 2004 09:29:16 +0000
You have some terrific lines here. I particularly like the whole "setting sun" motif, and the way you move the point of view from you to we to I. A couple things didn't quite make sense to me initially, but when I went to mention them here, they kinda fell into place, so I don't have much of a critique, I'm afraid. Other than to say I like it.

-- Scratch 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-67841 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-3514 Fri, 03 Sep 2004 05:23:37 +0000 To the tune of “the one I love”
Two faces lit, smile though pained
Each at a different irony

Constellations bought us here
The heavens lit our path
A bird took flight and landed here
Suddenly the sky's gone dark

And though you try to break the clouds
You're still a setting sun

The skies, the winds, the heavens
Something has weighed down on me
And I fall like rain, right thru your hands
And stain your perfect feet

And though you try to break the clouds
We're still a setting sun

Said goodbye looking up from a gutter
To a beautiful face in the sky
That got hold of its orbit again
And so left from mine

Still, I'm a setting sun
I am still, I'm a setting sun


Thanks for reading]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sozay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-43-sozay/#post-3514