https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 20:55:41 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70405 Thu, 23 Sep 2004 16:56:47 +0000
don't sell yourself shortly;)

bluenightangel

P.S.: maybe you just suspect to much depth behind the lines? :wink:
it's really simply about life being a kinda queue...you're waiting all the time and what for?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70405 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70263 Wed, 22 Sep 2004 05:28:30 +0000
This one, I can't get a handle on at all - to me it reads more like free-form poetry.......6 lines,5,4,6,5,2,6......

the lyrics make sense in sort of a mysterious way......keep you guessing....after another look the structure sort of makes more sense.....

Dammit Anne, can't you "dumb down" to an IQ of about 180 or so then us mere mortals may have a chance of understanding you!!!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70263 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70178 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 17:47:16 +0000
hi scratch this idea with the bridge is cool:) I felt like I had to change the part so it wouldn't sound awkward to have the chorus following...
how about
"Pluck up, baby
I wanna leave the line
All this life's been an endless queue" for the bridge?
the 'wake me up' and 'we're sleeping' would be out then but I don't really miss them;) just when I get the rythm of one, you're off to another :lol: sorry didn't mean to drive you mad or anything:)) know what? I even got some kind of melody for this one which works quite well(er...not in all places, but yeah..)- sounds a bit like a Sarah Bettens song now:)

celt, I'm sorry, I don't know Ray Davies that well(and only barely remember the Kinks)...hm...anyway I think it's not going to be a spoken part...still thank you:)
the violet part i think that you should keep all but the last verse of it cheap thrill, I hope you're more happy with the bridge as it is now;)
it would still be like the ending you wanted it to be, bridge , chorus, end.

thank you all very much :wink:
really helpful.
bluenightangel

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
guess who's just turned 70 this very day? ..... yes, it's sweet Leonard Cohen! Happy birthday, dear.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70178 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70135 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 08:32:37 +0000
good job with the assignment. i like the idea of sleeping in line because you don't want to miss out. as far as the violet part i think that you should keep all but the last verse of it. if you lose the last verse the song has a nice ending to it. Waiting to exchange my destiny
Tired of hanging on, baby
C'mon
I'm sleeping in line this is my favorite part.

good job.

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70135 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70125 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 05:21:44 +0000
Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70125 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70081 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 00:50:05 +0000
What about taking the last section in the violet part, and making that a bridge, then repeating the chorus? I think that would work. I like this piece a lot, but it seems to me that you have a number of different structures going on, just when I get the rythm of one, you're off to another. Of course, it's altogether possible that I'm just slow on the up-take. Anyways, I like it. Your stuff is always intriguing.

-- Scratch 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-70081 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-3897 Mon, 20 Sep 2004 20:02:11 +0000
I waste the hours
Bothering with the tide
Thinking ‘bout things
That would break my stride
Hard to stop worrying
When you've got plenty of time

Sleeping in line
Extra weights on my clothes
So no one can carry me away
Sleeping in line
Won't be dragged away this time

Waiting to exchange my destiny
Tired of hanging on, baby
C'mon
I'm sleeping in line

Can't give way to apathy
Lord knows, I'd love to be
Suspended of pressure, free
But constant awareness is necessary
Not to miss your turn
And step back in line for another time


Sleeping in line
Won't be dragged away this time

Waiting to exchange my destiny
Tired of hanging on, baby
C'mon
I'm sleeping in line

Pluck up, baby
I wanna leave the line
All this life's been an endless queue
We're sleeping in line
Tired of hanging on
C'mon, wake me up
I'm sleeping in line

How about leaving the violet part out and maybe just repeating the chorus instead? maybe again too many things for one song, right? the 'sleeping in line' might sound weird when you read the line 'constant awareness...' ...it's just that you won't go out of line of fear to miss your turn so you'll even sleep in line...but you can't wait relaxedly cause you need to be prepared for your chance or you'll screw it up.

aw...let's see what you think :wink:
*waving*
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-tailback/#post-3897