https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 21:06:04 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70587 Sat, 25 Sep 2004 08:10:21 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70587 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70577 Sat, 25 Sep 2004 07:04:01 +0000 sometimes we americans forget that other people don't know our slang or abbreviations. :D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70577 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70548 Sat, 25 Sep 2004 02:00:08 +0000
Vic.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70548 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70536 Fri, 24 Sep 2004 23:21:57 +0000 Like it, but I do agree with Cheap Thrill it does need something
to tie it all together (IMHO) Maybe a chorus
Maybe you could have her being hit by a Truck or something in the chorus and it would make for a nice Country song………. Just kidding!!
But even if you don’t write a chorus it is still a great song. Flows nice!
Keep‘em comi’n
Blessings. Olav]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Olav https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70536 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70264 Wed, 22 Sep 2004 05:37:01 +0000
The line Cheap Thrill highlighted, should that read

"The feel of our dance".........amazing the difference one little word can make isn't it!!!

I can almost hear the fiddlers between verses!!!

:) :) :)

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70264 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70133 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 08:00:00 +0000
this is a nice little diddy. i do like the way that you mention many different kinds of lines that people stand in. it does flow very well with the style you chose. i do feel like there needs to be something the brings to verses together. or at least some sort of ending. i don't like it when a song just abrutly ends for no real reason. The feel our dancethis line needs to be reworded.
over all it is nice, but didn't grab me. i certainly wouldn't go as far as saying ick.

-CheapThrill]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CheapThrill https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70133 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70132 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 07:16:59 +0000
I like it. On the other hand, I never show my songs to my wife. Our tastes are just too divergent.

I really like the progression in this piece. I also think the structure is very nice. There are a couple places where I thought the meter might could be tightened up a bit, but you'd probably fix that on the fly while you're singing it. I also thought the different settings you chose for each stage of the relationship were quite apropos. Well done.

-- Scratch 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-70132 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-3908 Tue, 21 Sep 2004 07:06:38 +0000
Waiting in Line

Waiting in line at the grocery store
I thought of the dinners we had and more
The candlelight romance
The feel our dance
Dreaming of futures together

Waiting in line at the DMV
The day to day hassles of you and me
Pressure is growing
The cracks begin showing
Wishing that we could be free

Waiting in line on the courthouse lawn
Feeling relief that our time was done
The words we exchanged
Hurtful and deranged
With lawyers there egging us on

Waiting in line at the funeral gate
Thinking ‘bout love that had turned to hate
Your beautiful presence
Devoid of its essence
Seeing our ultimate fate]]> Sunday Songwriters Group SaucyJim https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-46-waiting-in-line-by-saucyjim/#post-3908