https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 14:35:14 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148900 Tue, 03 Jan 2006 21:49:39 +0000
I see what you're getting at (and no, I'm not pretending I know you, so don't get angry with me!!!) - kind of a statement of individuality, you don't want to be pigeonholed, stamped, filed, numbered or card indexed (woops sorry, having a 60's flashback to "The Prisoner" there...)

And now you've set your stall out, so to speak, and risen to the challenge, what's to stop you going on and writing more and more? Glad you took my advice, although metal's not really my thing - more of a classic rock kind of bloke - I can hear in my head (almost!) what this could sound like....

Next step...get it recorded!!!

Good work....

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148900 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148766 Tue, 03 Jan 2006 07:52:02 +0000
Challenge me of your own will
And I will go for the kill
Pretend you even know me
And I will get very angry
Say you know what I wrote this for
And I'll crush your ego to the floor


Don't like this, well you can scram!
Because this is who I really am!

This is who I really am!

Sit there and say what I'll be
The broken record is all I see
Your preachings boring and long
On and on about how I'm wrong
Say I'm like someone you've met
But you don't even know me yet!


Don't like this, well you can scram!
Because this is who I really am!

This is who I really am!


Say how you know me so
Say you get how my thoughts flow
Say you've looked past my eyes
And seen beyond all my lies

But you couldn't be more wrong!

Because this is
This is
This is who I
Really am

This is who I really am!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148766 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148731 Tue, 03 Jan 2006 04:45:24 +0000
Hope you have fun and learn heaps from the very many talented people in here ....( I'M not one )

I like your song ... I may have read this wrong but to me it comes over very WolfMother / Deflephard ish

Keep up the writting


I may be old but I still like rock .........]]> Sunday Songwriters Group lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148731 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148726 Tue, 03 Jan 2006 04:25:16 +0000
well I really like this song, I think there is some great potential here. I agree with David in terms of the tongue twisters. There's only one thing that bugs me a little, and it may be just my ignorance of how to write a metal song so I might be way off base here but it reads to me like a list of gripes, as if they were bullet points. If you look at Davids version youll see how he fleshes out the point he's trying to make. Less points but more depth.
Anyway I think this would be great a metal song, I think youve done really well.

cheers
pbee]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148726 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148653 Mon, 02 Jan 2006 23:51:40 +0000
I'll try to rework it so it flows a little nicer. I see it as a metal song, maybe punk but more metal so I would use distortion and power chords.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148653 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148601 Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:50:17 +0000
Not my style but I like it.

Like David I'm hearing distortion and power chords.

Hope to see you here more often.

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148601 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148431 Mon, 02 Jan 2006 06:34:23 +0000
And welcome to the SSG. Writing to a specific subject can be a challenge and I'm glad to see that you took Vic's advice to give it a try.

What sort of music do you have in mind for this? I'm hearing a lot of distortion and power chords when I read it.

I'm mostly left wondering how it's going to sound when sung. Even when you don't know the melody of a song lyric, you can often get a feel for the rhythm. In some places I'm not sure how things are going to flow. This verse, for example:
Sit there and tell me what I will be
And I'll look at you and say what I see
Sit there and tell me that I am mired
And I'll say your preachings make me tired
Say that I am like someone else you've met
And I'll show that you don't know me yet The third and fourth lines especially seem to be tongue-twisters. Perhaps clipping the phrases a little bit more might help. It would also give the lyrics even more of an angry feel without significantly changing them:

Don't tell me what I'm going to be
Let me tell you just what I see
All your preaching makes me tired
Your words cliched and uninspired
Say I'm like someone you've met
I'll show you you don't know me yet

That, obviously, isn't really great, but I hope it gives you an idea of my thoughts. When you think about it, giving one's thoughts to this lyric is probably a bit on the ironic side of things... :wink:

Anyway, I think it's a great start. I hope you continue to try out the SSG assignments in the upcoming year.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-148431 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-14209 Mon, 02 Jan 2006 06:11:04 +0000
Anyway this song is tied to the theme of promises. Sort of. This song is about people that think they know me, and my promises of what will happen if they judge from their ignorance. Unlike my last song, it's not about anyone specific since a lot of people do this. I'm sure I've done it too.

I'm not sure how good it is, or if this is what you meant by promises but here it is:

Challenge me of your own will
And I will go for the kill
Pretend that you know me
And I will get very angry
Say you know what I wrote this for
And I'll crush your ego to the floor


Don't like this, well you can scram!
Because this is who I really am!

This is who I really am!

Sit there and tell me what I will be
And I'll look at you and say what I see
Sit there and tell me that I am mired
And I'll say your preachings make me tired
Say that I am like someone else you've met
And I'll show that you don't know me yet


Don't like this, well you can scram!
Because this is who I really am!

This is who I really am!


Say how you know me so
Say you get how my thoughts flow
Say you've looked past my eyes
And seen beyond all my lies

But you couldn't be more wrong!

Because this is
This is
This is who I
Really am

This is who I really am!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/week-9-owa/#post-14209