Wk 23 - unfinished songs - Sunday Songwriters Group

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

Vic Lewis VL — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 02:44:11 +0000

Hmmm, a Zen moment, Ken? I was looking back over some old posts yesterday and thinking, the chorus that hasn't got a song might just fit in the song that doesn't have a bridge - or is that synchronicity again?

I might just see if I can work 'em in together tomorrow afternoon - A, because I've nothing better to do, B, because I'm lazy and never throw anything out if I can do anything with it in some undefined future, and C, just because I've got a feeeling...

:D :D :D

Vic

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

CitiZenNoir — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 23:00:46 +0000

Okay ~ So the three lines seems to work in a poetic sense,
though every time I try to put it to a musical melody, it seems to want a fourth line :evil:

So....

The clean misty morning
the glittering dew
Bends the light into colors
slowly fading the blue
I FEEL LIKE THE SUNRISE
of the first dawn of my life
A new language is spoken
a new vision is mine

I have the sunrise line in caps because in my head I hear the music stop after blue
with a pause, and the sunrise line is delivered with more intensity than the rest of the lines....
almost like it's the begining of the verse....
Does that make sense???? :|

Ken

ps - oh sorry.... was going over the 'first song' and, OH!....?
The 'second song' is actually the chorus!
I guess this works as a chorus.... or it could be the verse to a whole new song....? :o

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

CitiZenNoir — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 22:16:02 +0000

Hey Vic :D

I really like that first song.... I'm about to grab my acoustic and see how it sits with those chords.

The second 'unfinished' song really grabbed me though (as it seems to have a few others as well :wink: ).

You mentioned 'shiny happy love songs', so here's the direction I was inspired to go with it:

I feel like the sunrise
of the first dawn of my life
The clean misty morning
the glittering dew
Bends the light into colors
gradually fading the blue

Ken

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

Diceman — Thu, 22 May 2008 01:04:24 +0000

"Today's the first day, of the rest of my life,
A clean slate, a blank page, a chance to start anew,
Today feels like more than just a beginning,
It feels like an end to the blues."

Vic I like " A clean slate, a blank page, a different point of view " for the second line .

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

KR2 — Wed, 21 May 2008 07:34:07 +0000

"Today's the first day, of the rest of my life,
A clean slate, a blank page, a chance to start anew,
Today feels like more than just a beginning,
It feels like an end to the blues." Don't know the books but I know the feeling

Today's the first day
Of the rest of my life
I'm going to be starting new
A weight from my shoulders
(And) a load off my mind
Now that we are through (or No more feeling blue or No reason to be blue)

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

straycat. — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:36:29 +0000

hey Vic,

you know I'm no use for the part of music and composition, so I leave that well alone and turn to the lyrics :wink:

>> Maybe Someday.
I like the sentiment and the lyrics in general. As for the book titles (by the way, very interesting to see that you know about "Passion's Killing Floor" - you were alluding to that one, weren't you? :wink: ) - I have no definite suggestions, but am very fond of "Tripwire" and think this, alongside "The Visitor" might fit in nicely.
For Tripwire, you might do something like: escaping it, or, while traveling, making a map of the tripwire places so they can be avoided, or, something like hoping to become tripwired (that is charmed, or feeling like settling) someday...
The Visitor: this might well be something like maybe someday I'll be more than The Visitor (and if I Die Trying it might as well be happy/free :wink: )

>> the chorus:
I am glad that you've found a positive note in all this (I hope this didn't come across weird. It was just a little pat-on-the-shoulder-and-a-pancake-pale-with-a-nice-cup-of-tea :wink: ). The last two lines are immaculate :D The verses and possible bridges, what have you, are probably something no one can much help you with, as this is so personal. Yes, I am quite sure inspiration will come to you. All I can offer are possible directions: the moment of change (why/what today), the past, the future, things-you-always-wanted-to-do, the names of the shades of the blues (or the song titles..) ... um... well, it is not much and my mind is going quite blank now... :D Anyhow, you'll be fine.

Best of luck finishing these. it's great material.
Cheers,
straycat.

Re: Wk 23 - unfinished songs

BarnaBus RoX — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:50:22 +0000

Not that I've got anything against the blues - just seems like I've been writing nothing but blues and sad songs for way too long, I could really do with the inspiration to start writing shiny happy love longs again.....

Vic ,

Why not play Am / Em / G / C / D / B7

..that ain't blues :D add a palm mute with in the strum pattern and get away from the blues all together , Slow down strum with a little tickle of the high string with in the chord . Then add a palm mute to give it some ommph <-- is that a word ? Oh well if not I think you might understand what I mean ...
Not that I am any expert on playing myself but the chords I mentioned do go together lovely , " The circle of 5 ths " told me so :D

Thats what I would be doing mate and then hopefully more lyrics will come to you rather than trying to write for the music that is muddling up the grey matter ...

I hope I have helped

Trev...

Wk 23 - unfinished songs

Vic Lewis VL — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 02:50:57 +0000

OK, I lied - one unfinished song and one chorus.

The unfinished song first....

Maybe Someday.

(E)Walking down the road, heading (D)no(A)where
(E)Just a change of scenery, got to be (D)some(A)where
(E)Sun on my back and the breeze in (D)my (A)face
(E)Feeling good I found my (D)own (A)space

(D)Maybe some(A)day I'll (C)find some (G)place and settle (E)down
But for (D)now I'll (A)just keep (C)moving to the (G)next small (B)town(A)(B)

(same pattern as first verse)
Don't feel the need to be burdened with posessions,
Don't have to follow just one direction,
There's nowhere I have to be in a hurry,
And I ain't got a single care or worry,

(D)Maybe some(A)day I'll (C)find some (G)place and settle (E)down
But for (D)now I'll (A)just keep (C)moving to the (G)next small (B)town(A)(B)

OK, that's what I've got so far....

Now the song was written - or inspired by - the Jack Reacher novels by Lee Child. Reacher's an ex-MP who leaves the army and just drifts.....wherever the wind blows, so to speak. I love the thought of that lifestyle. I was going to try and work some of the book titles into the bridge.....

Tripwire
Die Trying
One Shot
The Enemy
Killing Floor (that's been done!)
The Hard Way
Echo Burning
Persuader
The Visitor

But I'm finding it difficult.....

I was thinking V, C, V, C, B, S, C, C.....(Verse, Chorus, Bridge, Solo)

All right?

Now the bit I'm hopelessly stuck on - I'm in the process of splitting up with my partner, it's a long drawn out process because... well never mind because, there are complications. All I've got is a chorus - meant to be a celebration of freedom. I'll probably be inspired once everything is sorted out....but till then, all I've got is.....

"Today's the first day, of the rest of my life,
A clean slate, a blank page, a chance to start anew,
Today feels like more than just a beginning,
It feels like an end to the blues."

Not that I've got anything against the blues - just seems like I've been writing nothing but blues and sad songs for way too long, I could really do with the inspiration to start writing shiny happy love longs again.....

:D :D :D

Vic