https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:46:17 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-378441 Fri, 28 Sep 2012 10:32:32 +0000
I like the changes. Kudos on the bongos :D

Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-378441 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-378336 Wed, 26 Sep 2012 05:02:20 +0000 Sounds good. Also I like the bongos (thats pretty much how I play them too :lol: ).]]> Sunday Songwriters Group andygetch https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-378336 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-378321 Tue, 25 Sep 2012 23:40:54 +0000
New version here:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=11911321

New lyrics:

verse:

I should have know it wouldn't last.
You said so little about your past.
Should have wondered what you had to hide.
Should have asked what you left behind.

chorus

The southern sky makes me sad,
Missing someone I never really had.
You left me for your other life,
Your other home, your other wife.

verse:

It's Friday night and you're in some cantina.
You gave up our favorite wine for tequila.
I hope you're happy in Mexico,
Where you know I'll never go.

chorus

verse:

Scorpio points across the border,
Far away from law and order.
Can't help looking no matter how I try
I spend evenings watching the southern sky.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Hobson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-378321 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377949 Sun, 09 Sep 2012 04:09:44 +0000
There are definitely good pieces here. One suggestion to connect the "bridge" section at the end, and I don't know how feasible this is, but if you have a keyboard of some sort, try using one of the Latin rhythm patterns that it may have. Keeping a steady bossa nova or rhumba beat in your ear may smooth out the transition from one section to another.

Nice moody piece. Looking forward to more.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377949 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377941 Sat, 08 Sep 2012 17:42:13 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Hobson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377941 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377931 Sat, 08 Sep 2012 04:51:35 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group andygetch https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377931 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377929 Sat, 08 Sep 2012 03:05:46 +0000
Good start. I like your playing on the assigned arpeggio and other chord progressions as well.

Suggestions: Consider tightening up the point of view; sometimes the singer refers to the singee in 2nd person; sometimes in 3rd.

This line seems out of place.....b/c they DID have a (brief) relationship....yes?
Missing someone I never had.

Verse 1 seems to be spelling out a mood but it v2 let's the listener get into the song right away.....Here's a suggestion to take or leave, but this structure seems to work out:

verse:
I should have know it wouldn't last.
You said so little about your past.
Should have wondered what you had to hide.
Should have asked what you left behind.

chorus:
Scorpio pointing across the border,
Far away from law and order.
You left me for another life,
Another home, another wife.

verse:
I gave up the wine and drink tequila.
It's Friday night and you're in some cantina.
I hope you're happy in Mexico,
Where you know I'll never go.

chorus

(possible bridge) or musical interlude
I spend evenings looking at the southern sky.
Can't help looking no matter how I try

chorus

Thanks for sharing :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-377929 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-43279 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 22:10:22 +0000
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=11877747

verse:

I spend evenings looking at the southern sky.
Can't help looking no matter how I try
At Scorpio pointing across the border,
Far away from law and order.

chorus:

The southern sky makes me sad,
Missing someone I never had.
You left me for another life,
Another home, another wife.

verse:

I should have know it wouldn't last.
You said so little about your past.
Should have wondered what you had to hide.
Should have asked what you left behind.

chorus

verse:

It's Friday night and you're in some cantina.
Gave up the wine we drank for tequila.
I hope you're happy in Mexico,
Where you know I'll never go.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Hobson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y10w44-southern-sky/#post-43279