https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 15:49:45 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384489 Sat, 15 Feb 2014 03:17:51 +0000 I like this a lot :D . My only comment would be this line but now I’ve a most difficult thing to say for me it feels just a little pedestrian. Not quite sure what I'd replace it with that didnt give me the same feeling though, I guess its such a pivotal point in the song. I was thinking along the lines of memories or fantasy fading away.

cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384489 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384482 Fri, 14 Feb 2014 13:40:26 +0000
Looks good. :D Nice imagery. I'd say it could fit this week's topic by classifying it as home schooling :P

Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384482 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384479 Fri, 14 Feb 2014 00:38:22 +0000
Neil]]> Sunday Songwriters Group chefie https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384479 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384478 Fri, 14 Feb 2014 00:12:39 +0000
We've had bigger stretches of topics before (and not all that long ago), so no worries there. That's part of why the SSG exists, after all.

And this is a lovely tribute. The only thing I'd suggest is a tweak to the second stanza, specifically the second line:
And Heidi lives with grandpa still
dances in wooden shoes at will
upon an Alpine mountain top
where echos of yodels never stop The phrase "dances in wooden shoes at will" seems very unnatural to sing or say and is pointedly only serving as a rhyme. I understand that having the AABB rhyme scheme is important, but I'd suggest either doing without it:
And Heidi lives with grandpa still
dancing in her wooden shoes
upon an Alpine mountain top
where echos of yodels never stop Or changing up the first line a bit to make the rhyming fit in more as part of the natural narrative:
And Heidi still lives with her grandpa it seems
and dances in wooden shoes in her dreams
upon an Alpine mountain top
where echos of yodels never stop Just a thought. And a question: will the music be a waltz? It certainly has the pulse for it.

Looking forward to more.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-384478 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-45077 Thu, 13 Feb 2014 21:56:04 +0000 I've the music worked out but not enough time this week to record.

THE GOOD SHIP

The good ship Lollipop still flies
to Candy Land in cotton cloud skies
high above the Peppermint Bay
where dreams are real and children play

And Heidi lives with grandpa still
dances in wooden shoes at will
upon an Alpine mountain top
where echos of yodels never stop

monkeys and rabbits still loop de loop
animal crackers in the soup
and it’s still possible to have fun
swallowing animal crackers one by one

It makes us smile to hear her songs
transports us to a place where we’d belong
but now I’ve a most difficult thing to say
Shirley Temple died today

and though our childhood comes to an end
we remember the days when we’d pretend
that we were cute, could sing and dance too,
a child movie star, who knew

monkeys and rabbits still loop de loop
and I still love animal crackers in my soup
and now with my children I share the fun
swallowing animal crackers one by one
]]> Sunday Songwriters Group chefie https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w15-the-good-ship/#post-45077