https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 00:20:21 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/#post-384581 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:45:59 +0000
I do like lyrics that are a little cryptic, or at least could be thought of in different ways. So, I guess I was trying to do that.

It is supposed to take place in the future (2024)with a guy thinking about his dad in the year 1964. The guy no longer has his freedom, and is either in jail, a mental hospital, or some sort of containment area because of some environmental disaster. He's not exactly right mentally (can't tell if memories are dreams), but is dreaming about he would have been if he grew up at that time, I guess wishing he would have. That time to him seemed better and filled with more hope. Something like that. "The father's long hair" just represents a change that is happening not only with his father, but the society in general. Anyway, I'll maybe try to gain a little clarity and focus on try 2.

The long]]> Sunday Songwriters Group wilcoman https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/#post-384581 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/#post-384580 Mon, 24 Feb 2014 10:39:34 +0000
Good start :D I like the use of details,but the lyrics are coming across a bit cryptic...and that might not be a bad thing.

It's a bit odd to fix the date like this...so this is a song to be sung in 10 more years....2024 yes?

Suggestion:

Consider if the details support the underlying idea....for example, I don't see the connection between the father's long hair and the singer's cloud of fear.....for that matter, I don't really understand the singer's present state and why it is dependent on the events of that specific year....However, I do like the idea of the "butterfly effect" of cause and effect....maybe it needs a bit more clarifying.

Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/#post-384580 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/#post-45114 Sun, 23 Feb 2014 21:41:54 +0000
My father entered High School
His hair longer than before
A big change was coming through
The culture was opening a new door


I’m sitting here sixty years later
Not sure if my memories are dreams
The snow is still covering the skaters
Who glide across lake serene


C:The year was 1964
There was a twist of time in the air
JFK died the year before
People wanting what’s right and fair


I wonder what I would have been like
Would I still have ended up here
If I grew up during that time
Instead of under this cloud of fear

C:


So now I gaze out the window
My freedom snatched away
Wishing I could feel the snow
Maybe in that lonesome valley

C:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group wilcoman https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w16/#post-45114