https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:14:03 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/#post-384985 Mon, 02 Jun 2014 23:11:10 +0000
The changes that I've already made are: (1) added a short bridge before verse 3;
(2) swapped the minor chords in the first and third lines of the verses with the major chords in the second and fourth lines; and (3) changed the last chord of the chorus from an Am11 to a Bm11, which still leaves the suspensful/ominous sound, but is more pleasing.

I'm planning big changes in the lyrics. I think it will work better if it tells a single story instead of jumping around to different examples of how lives can change quickly. The story will probably be about the kid in jail and will probably be in first person (might be the parent or the kid).

I'm pretty happy with the chorus, which is what I wrote first. I've been trying to come up with a better word than "order," to describe things going along smoothly.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Hobson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/#post-384985 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/#post-384979 Sat, 31 May 2014 05:39:31 +0000
Good start. :D The chorus is a clear straight-forward message. Each verse is a good example of life-changing events.

Suggestion: Consider a bridge that expresses the singer's take on the theme...what's the emotion? The music is a bit ominous/foreboding, but what is the message? fatalistic/resigned? warning? whatever will be will be? seize the day?

Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/#post-384979 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/#post-45337 Sat, 31 May 2014 02:29:04 +0000
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=832466&songID=12806767

verse:

The phone rings at midnight. Your son's in jail.
He begs you to come and get him out on bail.
A few drinks with buddies in their favorite bar.
One more for the road before he got in his car.

chorus:

In just a few seconds, the world is upended.
Everything is changed.
In just a few seconds, order is suspended.
Your life is rearranged.

verse:

The doctor says "things don't look quite right."
He says you're falling apart and losing your sight.
Just to be sure you're gonna need more tests.
Initial conclusions leave you depressed.

chorus

verse:

The deputy at the door says "you're being evacuated.
The water's rising fast, worse than we anticipated.
The road's already flowing up to my hubcaps.
Don't take the bridge, 'cuz it's gonna collapse."

chorus]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Hobson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y12w30-in-just-a-few-seconds/#post-45337