https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 12:02:27 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-109888 Wed, 06 Jul 2005 11:43:19 +0000
Great job. Loved the imagery and all of the metaphores fit right into place. I like the title, especially since you're going to maybe put it into a whisper to explain it. That would be cool in a whisper/distorted voice. Read this one about 3 times to get a full hold of it, then 2 more times just cause I wanted to! As always, keep it up!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pierson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-109888 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-109462 Sat, 02 Jul 2005 17:26:52 +0000
Nice Job, I like the fact that you were more subtle with the
circus imagery. It makes it all that much more in focus.

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-109462 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108759 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:20:36 +0000
thanks, pb :)

slowplay, as for the 'explanatory note', it was just meant to be sung in the background, probably distorted voice, or maybe just having the music stop for some seconds and whisper the line........ unless you're pitching to top 40 stationsnah, i'm not :wink:

G, don't you hate me :cry: ( :wink: ) sorry, didn't mean to steal your idea from the backporch of your mind where you hanged it out to dry.............
your suggestion for the title is an option I'll definitely keep, in case this will ever be set to music and I can't fit the line in...

lotto king, glad you liked those lines, coz I liked them, too... they got onto the paper unconsciously(accidently, ah u know what I mean, don't you)... :wink:

thank you everyone for the flattering words :D
cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108759 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108714 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 14:35:13 +0000
well here I am writting little ditties on this topic and blow me away with a totally different perspective of the topic .Your good really good never even entered my mind to approach this topic in the way you have well done .

Just love the folllowing 2 lines : :D

That's a milk wish in a tooth nailed to my bedstead
A request for the most beautiful face you have,

well done yet again young lady really well done

cheers

L.K :arrow:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108714 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108710 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 13:00:50 +0000
I really do - I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

( :wink: )


When I saw this weeks topic I thought, 'wouldn't it be cool to write a song where the circus element is just the façade of someones life, and the narrator can be crying out for that person to just drop the act and be real'.

And then you go and write this!

As usual, it's bloody brilliant. I might agree with SlowPlay about the bit in the middle. Maybe call the song 'the thicker the paint, the easier it cracks' but leave that line out of the lyrics entirely? Just a thought.

Well done again! I have absolutely no ability to actually write lyrics at the moment, so at least someone wrote this song - and frankly, rather you than me anyway!

G]]> Sunday Songwriters Group gjbrake https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108710 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108683 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 07:56:27 +0000 A request for the most beautiful face you have,
The purest…… oh, it probably wouldn't sell as well, but I'd buy it Liked that line. I think that sums up the crisis of the song very well.

My only critique is that, if you have to have an explanatory note in the middle of the song, you shoud consider rewording to make your point more obvious. Not that we want to be obvious, but, I think you know what I mean.

As usual, it will take me a few more reads to get everything (or most things) out of your song, but that's good (unless you're pitching to top 40 stations :D ). And also as usual, there's an interesting quality to your song that I can't put my finger on, and that I don't find in anybody else's work. Good job.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group SlowPlay https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108683 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108672 Tue, 28 Jun 2005 06:26:16 +0000
this is good. I think sticking to fewer metaphores makes the message more direct and powerful somehow.
This is true The most dramatic, the purest mask you possess
It's the saddest clown
With all his make-up coming down in fact no makeup at all to my mind to which I think you are alluding to here.
A request for the most beautiful face you have,
The purest…… oh, it probably wouldn't sell as well, but I'd buy it And if your not its the way I read it.
Nice song
:D
pb]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-108672 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-9885 Mon, 27 Jun 2005 23:23:50 +0000
The thicker the paint

It's a grimace………

Although you keep raving and creating
metaphors including and revolving ‘round the sun
You stick to the shadows like Simeon to his gun
Dazzled by the beams you can't stand the heat
It is melting the colours holding your face
Revealing the wallpaper flaking off the façade

I mean, if you're despondent
Just give it a rest
Don't put my patience
And your carnival masks
To any further tests



Announcing the future you claim to
have seen in petals deserted by tulips
You act tragic, but never show it,
The most dramatic, the purest mask you possess
It's the saddest clown
With all his make-up coming down

That's a milk wish in a tooth nailed to my bedstead
A request for the most beautiful face you have,
The purest…… oh, it probably wouldn't sell as well, but I'd buy it
For all your carnival faces are such hideous grimaces

comments appreciated.
cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week34-the-thicker-the-paint/#post-9885