https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 15:32:45 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-119623 Tue, 23 Aug 2005 16:19:27 +0000
back from the festival, around here again (with a pain in my mouth thanks to the dentist, but what the hell).

Vic, glad you love it. the "ally time" thing... it's like time is his accomplice, his ally, because he goes away to do things and have fun, meet friends while I cannot accompany him and stay home with nothing to do(well things to do, but not being able to), waiting for the time to pass, feeling empty... so time's my enemy in a way.
I think of the crayons you took rocketgirl, you're right, that line does sound a bit childish, but was supposed to refer to the colours again(the colours he took with him when leaving).

hey lotto king, I used "untaught" as a verb, unteach and rhymezone.com says: "cause to disbelieve; teach someone the contrary of what he or she had learned earlier; cause to unlearn" :wink:

thanks everyone for commenting(dhodge- haven't had you replying in a while :wink: ), I appreciate it. :D
cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-119623 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117717 Mon, 15 Aug 2005 06:33:43 +0000
I also think that you could have a field day with color images in this section:
I act foolishly and I know it
I miss you terribly and I show it
To the stained mirror
To the filthy floor
To the broken radiator
To the wilting flowers
To the reeking fridge that never answers Virtually every item there has "good" and "bad" colors (something green growing on the fridge is never good!), but I guess it all depends on the type of rhythmic meter you've got in mind.

Always a pleasure to read your material.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117717 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117697 Mon, 15 Aug 2005 04:48:50 +0000
Gets better the more you read it!!!!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117697 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117683 Mon, 15 Aug 2005 03:55:38 +0000
Well you had me srambling for my dictionary on the untaught , I did not even think that was a word but to my surprise I was yet again wrong . :oops:
For anyone else definition of untaught is ;

untaught :adjective: lacking in schooling
Example: "Untaught people whose verbal skills are grossly deficient"

The line Vic mentioned about ally time I took that as Ally being in like a marriage when married couples fool around with each other ( not sex ) :oops: but based on my previous knowledge of the english language I guessing I got that wrong too. :oops:

But B'angel I love this :

think it is only getting worse
The ticking becomes deafening
I sense the hands sweep over me,
they almost seize me, almost seize me

:roll: And I disagree with Vic about the colour but we are all different , I think it paints a very vivid image . such as the following verse

"I act foolishly and I know it
I miss you terribly and I show it
To the stained mirror
To the filthy floor
To the broken radiator
To the wilting flowers
To the reeking fridge that never answers"

A lost love the emotion the sadness , thats my 5 cents worth

well done gurl ( you go gurl ) been watching far too much Americian T.V :wink:

take care
Cheers

L.K :arrow:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117683 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117651 Mon, 15 Aug 2005 00:08:03 +0000
Also love the title. One part that didn't seem to fit was
I think of the crayons you took Kinda seems like your talking about somebody young but then the rest of the song has mature content so that part didn't work for me. Other than that, great write. G. :)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group rocketgirl https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117651 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117633 Sun, 14 Aug 2005 21:53:51 +0000
:D :D :D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117633 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117628 Sun, 14 Aug 2005 21:34:28 +0000
One line I don't quite get,

"Mocking me quietly with your ally time".....it's the "ally time" that grates....either it's a typo, or it's lost something in translation...either way, I just don't get it...perhaps you'd like to clarify?

Apart from that, LOVE IT!!!!

:D :D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-117628 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-10943 Sun, 14 Aug 2005 21:19:53 +0000
a few days and this flat is a mess.

I think it is only getting worse
The ticking becomes deafening
I sense the hands sweep over me,
they almost seize me, almost seize me
The colours are growing paler
As you wrap yourself in shrouds of white,
Lower your lips to tease mine,
Mocking me quietly with your ally time
Just to vanish with the spectrum of light

These rooms are allowing not more than a dim gleam,
This pale sun is dusty
Weeping into dead telephones proves I forgot how to be alone
You untaught me

I act foolishly and I know it
I miss you terribly and I show it
To the stained mirror
To the filthy floor
To the broken radiator
To the wilting flowers
To the reeking fridge that never answers

I think of the crayons you took
The ticking becomes deafening
I sense the hands sweep over me,
they almost seize me, almost seize me
The rain bends but the sun's too weak
You'll assist her when you come by
Lower your lips to restore mine,
Lower your lips, reset the clock,
Lower your lips, release the colours
Lower your lips and restore me, beloved.


yeah I know.............. :wink:
cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y3week41-a-few-days-and-this-flat-is-a-mess/#post-10943