https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 16:26:59 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151300 Thu, 12 Jan 2006 15:25:38 +0000
good stuff man

record it man .. share the music with us man]]> Sunday Songwriters Group XXXX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151300 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151252 Thu, 12 Jan 2006 08:37:02 +0000
David I promised I would never go back after I left and I have not either , I know what you mean and there are people who do it but sorry not me ..

Vic , nice suggestions thank you

Bob , I wasn't real sure if anyone would understand the whisper nice to know you got understood it

Pbee and Hilch thank you for your comments also

Hppy writting everyone]]> Sunday Songwriters Group lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151252 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151214 Thu, 12 Jan 2006 05:54:48 +0000 As a fun song this works. But I reckon theres a more serious song in the making here if you felt so inclined. I really like the chorus a lot, and I think Vic's suggestion works fine.

Cheers
pbee]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151214 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151148 Thu, 12 Jan 2006 00:51:27 +0000
Personally, I think you can go even more over the top with this one if you want to. my stepdad, since retiring, has got a better social life than I ever had, even when in college! :wink: But I often suspect he too would rather be at the office than at the bowling alley day after day after day.

Perhaps a verse about going back to the office and hanging around and simply getting in the way might be in order?

Looking forward to more from you, LK.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151148 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151140 Thu, 12 Jan 2006 00:31:04 +0000
Good stuff though I agree with previous comments about last verse - detracts from all that went before.

The idea is excellent and whilst we'd all like to leave our jobs and have more leisure time - would we all get bored and long for what we gave up? That's rhetorical by the way we can have that discussion on the O&P bored ( :oops: sorry)

God flow and structure to the song following a simple thought all the way through - the whisper at the end adds the right amount of bittersweet to the mix.

Good stuff

bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151140 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151125 Wed, 11 Jan 2006 23:43:42 +0000
instead of

"I spend most my time
At guitar Noise
With lots of Girls and boys
Trying to get a rhyme"

try:

"I spend a lot of my time,
At guitarnoise.com,
Lookin' for elusive rhymes,
And rockin' on"

(just a suggestion off the top of my head...."

For this section.....

I'm retired
Not fired
My time -----is my time
I've finally reached ---my prime

I'd add one word for emphasis....

I'm retired
Not fired
My time -----is my OWN time
I've finally reached ---my prime

but yes, definitely taking a stand for the older generation...
brought a smile to my face anyway!!!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151125 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151028 Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:43:07 +0000
I like your chorus

Fun piece I think you succeeded ...

If you get bored at home you can always drop around to my house and mow my lawn .. Honest mate I really really would not mind , hell mate I'll even leave some beers in the fridge for you ...

The verse that says :

I spend most my time
At guitar Noise
With lots of Girls and boys
Trying to get a rhyme

Just does not seem to work for me ( sorry Mr King )]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-151028 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-14509 Wed, 11 Jan 2006 11:31:43 +0000
For those who don't know I'm retired ( Yes I'm older then 65 ) I wanted to write a little fun piece but I think I got lost in here somewhere ..



My Time

No more traffic jams
Plenty of week-end plans
No more boss
More time to rock

I'm retired
Not fired
My time -----is my time
I've finally reached ---my prime

Alarm clocks ------ringing
Ha ha now I'm ---singing
No more clocking in
I should be sleeping in

I'm retired
Not fired
My time -----is my time
I've finally reached ---my prime

But my old---- body
It won't let me

Up at the crack of dawn
I 'll go and mow the lawn
Just for something --------to do
I've enrolled to go back to school

I'm retired
Not fired
My time -----is my time
I've finally reached ---my prime

I spend most my time
At guitar Noise
With lots of Girls and boys
Trying to get a rhyme

I'm retired
Not fired
My time -----is my time
I've finally reached ---my prime
Only sometimes I wish I was back at work... ( whisper)

All replies welcome :wink:
I played around with fonts to get my point across about the whisper at the end sorry if it didn't work
Cheers
L.K :arrow:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4-w10-my-time/#post-14509