https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 00:36:39 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/#post-191006 Thu, 27 Jul 2006 13:00:55 +0000
oh, of course, stupid me.... yes, paul, the "be" doesn't belong there.. probably a leftover from changes i've made.
and i already suspected "snub" to need another word... yes, then it's "snub them" i guess.

as to that other line. the way you rewrote it it has a new meaning, hasn't it? because I meant it to say that you own nothing really, that all things you own are things you could easily leave behind.

thank you very much for bothering to come up with some ideas:)
and thank you, too, peter. yes, sweden was amazing.

cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/#post-191006 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/#post-187875 Fri, 07 Jul 2006 00:36:26 +0000
I like your song, I think it portrays that doubt and introspection very well.
There are a couple of things in there that may just be a language thing
You don't need the “be” that i might be heading towards be a dead ending and but sometimes things seem like they would look up if i didn't snub “snub” by itself does sound right to me, you could use “snub them” or “snub him”

I think the 73 and 18 contrast works so I wouldn't change that, but maybe you could change this own nothing you couldn't leave behind to own only what you couldn't leave behind Other than that, nice song

cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/#post-187875 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/#post-18976 Thu, 06 Jul 2006 23:36:57 +0000
it's healthy, but is it true

is it a blue print or a true hint
that something is losing
all its sense
those words won't be meant if you need prompts to say them
but here i am
painting nightmares again

and he tried to convince me
that the best is yet to come
but it's hard to believe
when you're obsessed with the setting sun

and it's so intriguing a picture
though it tends to let ya
down

is it a cloud or a doubt
that's circling above me now
will it
announce a downpour or a darkness parting our lips
yes, it's me
reading signs into everything

it's healthy to think
that the best still lies ahead
but it's difficult to see
when so far you've lost all your bets

and then you're seventy-three,
own nothing you couldn't leave
behind


thank god i'm only eighteen
still it haunts my sleep
that i might be heading towards be a dead ending

but sometimes things seem like they would look up if i didn't snub




please consider this a very rough first idea with maybe too many parts leading into the wrong direction, or at least not into the one it was supposed to(?). ...and an awkward title i'm not so sure i will keep. i don't like the whole 73 part either...
anyways i like the first three verses/whatev and maybe it'll end up being just these three.
your comments are, of course, very welcome.

cheers,
bluenightangel]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y4week35/#post-18976