https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:59:11 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232200 Mon, 05 Mar 2007 07:18:19 +0000
The voice is sounding better and better]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232200 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232186 Mon, 05 Mar 2007 06:00:24 +0000 press --someone's buttons, for example-- do you not also push them? I think the point of the paparazzi gets across even better and push also rhymes with bush. Just a thought. Either way, looking forward to hearing it. Good lyrics. Oh, and uh, since you don't seem like you're entirely satisfied with that last verse either, just another suggestion--maybe if you just juggle the words and lines around a bit:
So join the party, and I'll lead the way,
To the promised land, we'll leave today
I'll lead you there if that's what you need,
The gravy train's where you'll find me
Look no further than the man you see,
Just vote for me and I'll set you free! That last part really sounds like a slogan. Thinking of running for office anytime soon?



Joe]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232186 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232113 Sun, 04 Mar 2007 22:56:42 +0000
The gravy train line, I agree, is a little forced, but I wanted to get it in - gravy train in this case meaning a job in the European Parliament based at Brussels, where old politicians sit around all day doing absolutely nothing and get paid obscene amounts of money for doing it....

Still in two minds whether to record this or not.....it's too obviously Dylanesque....oh what the heck, I'll give it a go....

:D :D :D

Vic

EDIT - MP3 recorded..... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=225059]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232113 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232068 Sun, 04 Mar 2007 17:42:45 +0000
Ignore the press, I know you can't be pushed
To believe their lies, as for me I'm bushed

(or something better than this, but maybe using the word pushed rather than crushed)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232068 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232013 Sun, 04 Mar 2007 08:46:18 +0000 I really like verse 2
Well I can sell you dreams and something more,
Rally round me on the floor,
Take no notice of the press, they should be crushed,
I'm tired of their lies, I'm really bushed,
So don't look further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free! Except for the third line, I can't get the rhythm on that one. Line 4 is my favorite.

Nice one Vic.

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-232013 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-231987 Sun, 04 Mar 2007 05:51:25 +0000
Verse 2: I like all of this except for:
"Take no notice of the press, they should be crushed,
I'm tired of their lies, I'm really bushed,"

It just doesn't go together it seems. Everything else in the first two verses does, it works very well and compliments each other. I can see what you mean by the Dylan song.

I like the "Take no notice of the press" and "I'm tired of their lies" part of those lines, but they second part of each sentence just doesn't work for me.

Verse 3: As everyone else has said "On the gravy train, we'll feed,"

Very good song though. It has potential. I'm looking forward to seeing the changes.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Kevin72790 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-231987 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-231044 Mon, 26 Feb 2007 05:04:45 +0000
good work so far. Reminds me of a mixing together of Dylan's style with
The Who's "Revolution".

The "gravy train" line didn't bother me much. The line:

"and they're to trivial to be documented here" seemed a bit forced.

But all in all I liked it.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-231044 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-230939 Sun, 25 Feb 2007 12:51:40 +0000
There is something about this I like but I just can't put my finger on it I have read it a few times now ..

Just my opinion I liked the gravy train line ...


Trevor]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-230939 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-230926 Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:56:49 +0000
THe different length lines threw me a bit to start with and i had to re read the verses to try and get a solid rhythm , still not sure now, but in saying that ....... enjoyed reading the lyrics anyway.

The only line that stood out as forced rhyme was
On the gravy train, we'll feed, but I have only just woken up we are 8 hours ahread of you and I've on my first cup of coffee. So can't think of anything better right now.

:lol: :lol:

Ja'mir]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-230926 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-24204 Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:27:00 +0000 http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=225059

Well I finally managed to throw something together - I know myself it needs some more work, but I can see where it's not as strong.....and I wanted to get at least something down on paper before the deadline....

As for the wordplay, OK, it's a bit cheeky, but it's all in how you pronounce the title - think how many politicians have been caught cheating on their partners, then think how Dylan would say that title and kind of run the words together...

New Direction.

I'm the man to take you in a new direction,
If you take no notice of my predilections,
My private life's my own affair,
And they're too trivial to be documented here,
Don't look further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

Well I can sell you dreams and something more,
Rally round me on the floor,
Take no notice of the press, they should be crushed,
I'm tired of their lies, I'm really bushed,
So don't look further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

So join the party, and I'll lead the way,
I'll come with you and lead you today,
To the promised land, if that's what you need,
On the gravy train, we'll feed,
So don't look any further than the man you see,
And vote for me and I'll set you free!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y5-w16-new-direction-with-mp3/#post-24204