https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:25:26 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-282427 Sun, 24 Feb 2008 17:18:14 +0000 so this first verses seem to have found some homes, as well :lol:
glad you like it+you think it's singable.

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-282427 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279423 Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:04:51 +0000 When the wind falls silent

The stars are just shards of glass
Scattered upon a ceiling blackened with soot
They are frauds like the moon is
They merely reflect
There's no meaning in them It matters less to me that stars actually produce and don't reflect light, etc than the passion behind these lyrics and the flailing sense of frustration this verse conveys. A good vocalist would have a field day with this.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CCourtney https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279423 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279340 Tue, 29 Jan 2008 11:57:02 +0000
I just spelled your name stary and looked at it and thought thats not right but it suits this this piece in strange way .

I must out line this verse :

Without sextant in my hand
I am lost beneath foreign skies
That when the wind falls silent
Are swallowed by clouds offhand

That is truely beautifully written , bravo I really like that just wish I had come up with it :lol:

Well done

Cheers

Trev.. :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279340 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279192 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:28:32 +0000 You know I really dig your writing, and this is no exception!

For me though - The first two verses were the best of the bunch :D

The first verse gave me a Viking/Greek (Homer) sorta vibe.
Which wasn't able to continue on with the second because of the sextent....
That's quite alright though.
I'm a huge navigation nut, so that really grabbed me.

The line - I am lost beneath foreign skies - was probably my favorite.
I've always been attracted to the whole - Alien distant shore - type of imagry in songs.

Although I personally find meaning in the stars and moon, I could relate to that verse by putting myself in
a position similar to Mel Gibsons character in 'Signs'.... Where his faith is being severely tested.
(Of course bringing up Vic's Shooting Star lyrics :D )

A wonderful journey all in all, as usual!
ThankX for the ride :wink:

Ken]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CitiZenNoir https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279192 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279007 Sat, 26 Jan 2008 16:27:21 +0000 coleridge.. my, ain't that a long poem :wink: spotted the "bright-eyed mariner"- already taking to it.
is it possible that someday your hands might think "song", too? :wink:
(you know they are always welcome to do so. no pressure though.)

hope you are having a beautiful weekend.

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-279007 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278933 Fri, 25 Jan 2008 22:49:10 +0000
You seem to have honed your writing style somewhat, Straycat - there's still plenty of imagery, but it's been pared down a little to remove the over-elaborate comparisons. Now I'm thinking "song" instead of "poetry!"

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278933 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278804 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:36:20 +0000
thanks for the tip, i need to look at the poem more closely (when i got more time and am not so hungry :wink: ), but as far as i can see now i might really like it a lot. this stanza here is beautiful: And from that time on I bathed in the Poem
of the Sea, star-infused and churned into milk,
devouring the green azures where, entranced
in pallid flotsam, a dreaming drowned man sometimes goes down; :D

paul, i am dumbfounded- i have been looking for the word for these things you use to row a boat, and i have been looking a long time (couldn't even think of the German word for it) before i found "oar". and here you go saying "paddle" like it's the easiest thing :lol:

maybe you are right, i don't need these first verses. but i like (the feel of) them :D and, thus, will be so free to keep them :lol:

david, the part you asked about - it belongs to the lyric, and, well, could be sung like an afterthought.. or almost spoken.. or spoken... er... :)
yes, you're right, stars don't reflect the light. yet, i did not mention light, did i? :wink: of course, comparing them to the moon sounds like i'm thinking of light.. well, i thought more of the stars mirroring our imagination- being a reflection of the wishes/beliefs we project onto them - they themselves are largely meaningless and we fill them with meaning.. it's much like the shooting star- who says it can fulfill wishes? (at least the song, or the persona :wink: , doubts it)
however, i like skrybe's suggestion... maybe i'll use it. i'd be very happy to see what you come up with music-wise. if you could pm me your e-mail address? (didn't find it anywhere)

thank you, everyone.
as always appreciated your comments :D
cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278804 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278799 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:14:57 +0000
The stars are just shards of glass
Scattered upon a ceiling blackened with soot
They are frauds like the moon is
Which merely reflects
The lack of meaning in them

doesn't break the rhythm too much, and doesn't go against modern science (Unlike Katie Melua, lol)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278799 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278774 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 20:04:22 +0000
One question - is this part:



part of the lyric? Is it a descant part (something that's sung while the melody of another line is being sung)?

And one totally nitpicky thing - stars don't reflect light like the moon, so that kind of spoils the third stanza. I like the line immediately before ("...They are frauds like the moon is...") but I think you undermine that great line by tossing off the next one. I've got a hunch, though, that that's just my take on it...

Looking forward to more.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278774 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278695 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 03:10:21 +0000
good work SC

cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week12-when-the-wind-falls-silent/#post-278695