https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 09:54:11 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312340 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:23:52 +0000
I see what you mean about the parents line, Nick and Paul, and I tried singing your suggestions just now... I would be fine with Paul's line, but it's giving me a bit of trouble singing, can't make it fit in the rest of the verse.. :?

So I think I'll just keep it the way it is (at least Vic will approve) :D

"au contraire"? :lol: See, you do know a little French. Don't worry. With English as a mother tongue, there is no immediate need to learn another language.. nearly everyone will understand... and if you really want to, it's not too late, you can pick a language anytime and start studying :wink: I myself am working on my Swedish now, but it's improving very, very slowly (especially the speaking part)... :lol:

Thanks to all of you for your comments :D :D :D :D (I'm beaming, you see) :D
Cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312340 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312327 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 03:22:10 +0000 great job, I know what Nick is saying, for me its about the short punchy feel that the "parent" phrase doesnt have.

heres my variation of Nicks rewrite: no phone, no calls, no talk at all
I dont make sense this week I was also pleasantly surprised with your singing, it has improved a lot, well done.

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312327 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312204 Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:09:13 +0000
The voice is definitely getting better - you're singing in English now! - not all that strong, but you're capable of carrying an emotion, and that's a huge step.

I didn't find any fault with the lyrics - honestly! they just seemed to flow, naturally to me - phrasing was a touch out, but nothing to be ashamed of - au contraire, pretty good for someone whose first language is German. I wonder how many people from this forum could write a lyric in a "foreign" language? And sing it as well? Not many, I'll bet.

Again, I'm humbled by your language skills - and ashamed that we English don't take the time and trouble to learn other European languages. Not like mainland Europens learn English, anyway....

Zwei Biere - Dos Cervesas - deux bieres....seems to be the limit of what we'll try and understand....

:oops: :oops: :oops:

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312204 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312202 Sun, 26 Oct 2008 01:51:20 +0000
Let me say you have an amazing voice. Draws you right in...it's like Erika Eigen (I want to marry a lighthouse keeper) and Janis Joplin and umm, Lyle Lovett.

Part two of the loop throwing is in looking at your lyrics I had no idea how you were going to make them fit. For the most part I think you did. You derailed once but brought it back around nicely. Perhaps that was your intent.

The only lines I think you need to fix are the second and third line before the end. You've got this great list of things, ideas and images and then you do the call to the parents thing. I think you could do the same thing while keeping with the original flow of the song.

no phone, no calls, sorry mom and dad
I can't talk sense this week

I don't know why those lines stand out at me as out of place, but they do.

My 2 cents...

Very nice work though]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Nick Torres https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-312202 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-33782 Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:39:46 +0000 here you go.


winter bones (music: david hodge, lyrics: straycat)

i slept all through the subway
and dreamt on the train

i had some chocolate on my way home
i had some more in my room

i stared
i stared
i rubbed my eyes all the time

a street felt like a city
a park like a memory
i listened to a checkmate
and smiled as if i cared

i guess it's just one of those weeks
and i feel the winter in my bones
food, tea, pictures of autumn trees
no call to my parents this week
i cannot talk sense this week
i feel the winter in my bones

Cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week51-winter-bones/#post-33782