https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 05:14:31 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-276211 Tue, 01 Jan 2008 19:14:08 +0000 And as a grown man slides on a puddle. (how do you say this? he was skating on a frozen puddle? gliding? is sliding more like tripping, falling? Yes, slides sounds more like unintentional, slip up. glide is better.
You might want more of a hint that the puddle is frozen which will help strengthen the image.
Cheers

Ola]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Montezuma https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-276211 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-276001 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 19:05:33 +0000
Some songs I have to turn off
Their beauty used to comfort me
But now they're frozen in the ice

maybe you should write another song around those lines.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pearlthekat https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-276001 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-275987 Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:04:34 +0000
thank you for the input, I'll give it a try when I am a bit more distant to the piece. right now i can't see for all the trees :D

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-275987 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-275387 Mon, 24 Dec 2007 02:28:08 +0000
frozen trees thaw my dream-drunk limbs,
You walked out on this city
With your hand in anothers
Run, run faster
I don't want this sad shadow
To linger here ever after

(something about icicles here)
I see you from a few steps behind
comfortable, arranging the colours till they disappear
But it's in every second note
That Conor hums into my ear
my heart trips all over the broken ice

Some songs I have to turn off
Their beauty used to comfort me
But now they're frozen in the ice


i'm thinking Sounds of Silence here.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pearlthekat https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-275387 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-29509 Sun, 23 Dec 2007 21:21:10 +0000
darkling pacified

on the steps of a lighthouse deserted
my darkling heart lowered its pace
for the second time in weeks

a seagull soars above me
she's not braving the wind
she's succumbing to it

she comes to a halt
some feet above the sea

i am at the centre of the storm now, it seems

i am calm now
with the waves raging around me
a moment of peace
with the lighthouse behind me

(or should it be spelled like this: one-night escape?)

Frozen trees and a shadow lingering

Frozen trees on my way to work
Thaw these dream-drunken limbs,
As my breath becomes visible
So do I
And as a grown man slides on a puddle (how do you say this? he was skating on a frozen puddle? gliding? is sliding more like tripping, falling?)
My heart spills all over the street

I should know better
Too many have stepped on it
And perception of colours is subjective

I walk a few steps behind
And most of the time am comfortable here
Arranging the colours till lime disappears
But it's in every second note
That Conor hums into my ear

Some songs I have to turn off
Their beauty used to comfort me
But now they're smeared with water and salt

You walked out on this city
Now don't turn your head,
With your hand in another
Run, run faster
I don't want this sad shadow
To linger here ever after

oh boy, i am really unhappy with these. :x the first one probably fits the assignment better... but :?

anyways.
have a beautiful christmas with snow outside and candles inside
don't forget the cookies :D

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y6week7/#post-29509