https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:24:21 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317991 Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:06:19 +0000 Brothers and sisters we are the sum of our past
But now is the moment to shine shine like the stars
Set the night ablaze for all the world to see
Diamonds in the sky on heaven's tapestry I wouldnt worry too much about rhyming with stars (past is close enough IMO), but as I said before your original song is fine.

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317991 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317989 Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:40:01 +0000
I would like to find a rhyme with "stars"

Revised -Original line "Brothers and sisters both near and far"
How about any of these?

Brothers and sisters know who you are
Brothers and sisters be who you are
Brothers and sisters count who are
Brothers and sisters from where you are
Brothers and sisters shine where you are
Brothers and sisters stand where you are
Brothers and sisters remember your part
Brothers and sisters life is an art
Brothers and sisters it's time to start
Brothers and sisters truth's in your hearts
Brothers and sisters your where it starts]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317989 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317986 Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:16:23 +0000 I think it's the first two lines of the chorus that need to make the connection, I would approach it something like this:
Brothers and sisters from first to the last
We have each moment to shine shine like the stars
Set the night ablaze for all the world to see
Diamonds in the sky on heaven's tapestry its not perfect but for me it creates the link.

cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317986 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317984 Wed, 07 Jan 2009 05:02:05 +0000
Thanks for your critique :D ...If you have time, I would love to hear some more suggestions on where you see the stronger connection could be made....one of the verses, chorus, or bridge or a missing line?...I'm open for more feedback.

Thanks again,

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317984 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317980 Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:44:50 +0000 Well done :D

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317980 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317958 Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:54:54 +0000
Can't believe I'm the first to comment on this.... :?

Another classic - I love it - well done - even the bum notes at the end - excellent...

Verses sound great, choruses even...well...greater....

Lyrics - well, I'll have a look, but I just like the song.

Carry on like this and I'll have an album half way through the year.

Rock on!
D 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group DylanBarrett https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-317958 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-34591 Mon, 05 Jan 2009 18:49:08 +0000
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=7209728

Lord, make me tender with the young
Grant me compassion with the old
And give me sympathy with those who strive
Help me to bear with the weak
Teach me to tolerate the strong
For some day I'll have been all of these

Brothers and sisters be who your are
We have this moment to shine shine like the stars
Set the night ablaze for all the world to see
Diamonds in the sky on heaven's tapestry

We are one but have our parts
Like two lovers share one heart
The mystery of life brings us together

Can the hand say to the eye
I don't need you in my life
When all the parts make us who we are

Brothers and sisters know who you are
We have this moment to shine shine like the stars
Set the night ablaze for all the world to see
Diamonds in the sky on heaven's tapestry
With every star displayed the light of love will shine
Revealing a brotherhood our lives intertwined
Shine]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7-wk-10-stars/#post-34591