https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:24:36 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334596 Sun, 19 Jul 2009 20:54:56 +0000
James, I've been thinking about using the title in the lyrics, too .. it's kind of humming itself, I think :D However, I dunno where exactly to stick in a chorus... and I might tend to use not more than variations on the line like "Swallowing the smoke, I'm just swallowing the smoke"... um.. suggestions?

Any time you feel like giving it a try anyhow, you are extremely welcome, Chris :D (btw, it's not lacking talent on your side, it's lacking brevity+structure on mine :lol: )

Thanks for the statistics, Ken! I feel I can frown with much more determination now :D Actually, he's rather compact, like a bulldog (and as creepy), but somehow he seems more like a greyhound to me... maybe because he's got that inexplicable air of authority and superority about him. :lol:

Keeping my fingers crossed for your vow, dear Vic :D However, this is not really anti-smokers, just questioning the kind who share their smoke with everyone on the same floor (and, sometimes, up to two floors below) by failing to keep the doors to their flats shut. :? Thanks a lot for pointing out the grammar mistake, it'll be "from" not "in" then :wink:

Thank you for all your comments!
Cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334596 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334513 Sat, 18 Jul 2009 23:50:13 +0000
I like this one. Cleverly put together, and a nice blend of imagery - "I climbed through life-size ghosts of you," "boy, you were leaving a trail," "your bulldog scowl," "whenever night clouds conspire, yell fire, fire" - and the more down to earth phrases; I particularly liked " if there'll be flames, the smoke might originate in one of your bloody cigarettes instead." (Although originate FROM is better grammar...)

Nice one!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334513 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334482 Sat, 18 Jul 2009 19:36:31 +0000 (I assume he's more greyhound than bulldog in appearance?)

Smoking is the leading cause of fire, fire.
http://www.usfa.dhs.gov/downloads/pdf/smoking/GeneralAudienceFactSheet.pdf

So you can tell him to "put that in your pipe and smoke it." (cough, cough . . . ugh . . . gag)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group KR2 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334482 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334480 Sat, 18 Jul 2009 19:17:50 +0000
I feel ill equipped to make suggestions but, as always, it's a pleasure to stroll through the imagery in your lyrics. The picture of the miserable old neighbour came across very powerfully. No idea how I'd sing it, but I sure wish I had the talent to give it a try...

Cheers,

Chris]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334480 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334463 Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:39:13 +0000
Good title and clear message.... :D I kind of like how at the end the singer just nods in the hallway....I wouldn't want to be there when all that oppressed anger explodes. :shock:

Consider sticking the title in the song as a chorus with another line to rhyme it for the hook.
And keep that mask handy for the swine flu :wink:

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-334463 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-36671 Sat, 18 Jul 2009 15:03:41 +0000
swallowing the smoke

we nodded on the third floor, mid-stair,
and with my laundry on my shoulder
I climbed through life-size ghosts of you
some forty steps to Hades, July fretful under our roof
boy, you were leaving a trail
and the five yards through the hall, to my door
were the worst

and I was thinking
of that paper mask my father'd given to me
when the radio'd been humming pandemic, pandemic

my, twenty-five months already
that I've been dreading your bulldog scowl
but, no, I'm not sweeping the hall if you're keeping the door
to your smog city on twenty-four square metres open, wide open

and I'm still listening
to your evening threat of two years ago
whenever night clouds conspire, yell fire, fire

for you said lightening was gonna shell my antenna
your gloating prophesy of fire and “I'll
exercise stair-flight” while “you'll
be coal, coal, cold ashes in a scorched flat”, well,
I suck at stair-fights since I
can't stand upright with your middle-aged disapproval
breathing down my neck

but I am suspecting
that if there'll be flames, the smoke might originate
in one of your bloody cigarettes instead

well, today we nodded on the third floor
and with my laundry on my shoulder
I climbed home through life-size ghosts of you
boy, you were leaving a trail


cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7week37-swallowing-the-smoke/#post-36671