https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:39:58 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326546 Sat, 18 Apr 2009 12:42:00 +0000
Thanks for the posts. I guess we will see soon enough how all this comes together :wink:

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326546 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326449 Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:40:27 +0000
Beautiful opening verse ("sidewalk chalks", oh my :D ) and great closing chorus, I say!
Was stumbling about the moonlight bit at first but on re-reading I like it :lol: Don't think that chagning the rhyme scheme in the last chorus is a problem at all, why, it's the closing chorus! :wink:

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326449 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326417 Fri, 17 Apr 2009 04:09:43 +0000
James, I think you did a good job - on "Should Know Better" - with the first verse, and an excellent job of carrying on the Straycat chorus style - I dunno about duct tape, seems seamless enough to me!

On "Take A Number" I think you've changed the sense of the song slightly with the verse AND the chorus - now it's more a statement of intent than a possible scenario.

Good writing!

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326417 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326114 Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:07:09 +0000 Walmart has them . . . . on sale . . . this week only. Here's when I use the random generator:

Say I should know better
When the plenty depress issues
And the public labels control
When touching dust brakes mending
Despite kooky loan processors
http://watchout4snakes.com/CreativityTools/RandomWord/RandomPhrase.aspx
I have no idea what Dylan uses . . . . he could be cheating. :shock: :mrgreen: Here's when I cheat:
Say I should know better
When though you feel cold
Do not warm yourself at the fire, Snowman
http://books.google.co.th/books?id=z460V-B1HrYC&pg=PA27&lpg=PA27&dq=Snowman,+even+though+you+feel+cold,+Do+not+warm+yourself+at+the+fire&source=bl&ots=zWjqlhOoRO&sig=tYYhEi8VOzJPiEElxSEU54bG4B4&hl=en&ei=tV7kSbOpK6eK6AO03JT6Cg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :? doh!
James
Are we having fun yet? :lol:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326114 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326101 Tue, 14 Apr 2009 06:01:31 +0000
Walmart has them . . . . on sale . . . this week only.

I have no idea what Dylan uses . . . . he could be cheating. :shock: :mrgreen:

KR2]]> Sunday Songwriters Group KR2 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326101 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326099 Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:25:12 +0000
Stray Cat and Dylan's style of lyric writing are two things I aspire to but can't find the right staircase to climb up there....them and Gary Larson "The Far Side" and "F Minus" Tony Carrillo http://www.fminus.net/ ... I would like to write comics like them, but it's never until after I read them I say, "Oh yeah! That's funny! Why couldn't I think of that?!?"

Well, I might take another stab at it later.

Thanks for the feedback :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326099 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326080 Tue, 14 Apr 2009 01:41:18 +0000 On Say I Should Know Better,
I thought you should stay with the "formula" of Straycat's two choruses . . . to keep it consistent . . .
maybe something like,

Say I should know better
When candles are lit
And eyes remain shut
When spring flowers grow
To be buried by snow

KR2]]> Sunday Songwriters Group KR2 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-326080 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-35666 Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:38:41 +0000
Verse 1 (James)
I found true love and yet she doesn't have a clue
When it comes to telling her I don't know what to do
I can reschedule my days around her morning walks
Maybe I could write “I love you” in sidewalk chalks

Chorus 1 (Straycat)
Say I should know better
When the sun goes up
And down goes my luck
When paper birds only fly
To get stuck in the sky

Verse 2 (Dylan)
She walks the walk I walk but not in step with me
She shelters from the rain but not under the same tree
She breaths the air I breath that's all that we share
She lives alone I live alone my heart longs to be there.

Chorus 2 (Straycat)
Say I should know better
When the signs say go
And the heart stays put
When, with breath on hold,
I keep piling up my hope

Chorus 3 (James)
Say I should know better
When the coast is clear
And I am still here
When moonlight's no use
But to tie my shoes

===========

Take A Number (James' title)

Vs1 (James)
If you want to play; I'm your player
I can bust a cap or be your dragon slayer
Let me clue you in; no it's more like a warning
I like contact sports but I'm gone in the morning

Ch1 (Jeremy)
If you want a piece of me, take a number
You ain't the first one I done wrong
If you're thinking I should pay, take a number
You can have whatever's left when I'm gone

V2 (Jeremy)
Love for me was always just a game,
It seems every woman wants me tamed,
May fall for golden locks,
Till she wants me in a box
Then I have to leave her broken, crying, shamed

V3? (Jeremy)
Had a girl who thought true love was what we had
I left her standing at the altar boiling mad
It seems I have that effect
Just ask each and every ex
As they reach for something blunt to smash my head

Ch 2 (Jeremy)
If you're looking to get even, take a number
If revenge is what you want, stand in line
If it makes you feel better, take a number
You'll never hurt this broken heart of mine

Ch 3 (James)
If you want a piece of me, take a number
I don't stick around like gum on a shoe
If you feel I cheated you, take a number
But you know I never cheated on you]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y7wk24-should-know-better-take-a-number/#post-35666