https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:21:06 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-351465 Sat, 17 Apr 2010 21:03:41 +0000
Uploaded one for this song plus another one I've been working on (with the following lyrics)

When will you

When will you see me
When will you know what
I can be my dear
It's been a long day now
And I am waiting here

When will you be with me
Tell me will it ever be
Just you and me
All of eternity
Will it ever be?

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=941315]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-351465 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-347065 Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:14:44 +0000 just wanted to say that this looks like a really good lyric. A nice structure, different from the usual ABAB stuff, but still consistent with itself and easy on the ear. Maybe it's just the way it's written out with the shorter third lines. Might have to try that trick myself one day. Good imagery too, you manage to give a clear picture of this man without describing him physically in any way, just his mannerisms and display of emotions.

Make it a bit longer (or add instrumental parts) and I'd love to hear this played.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group martin-6 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-347065 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346383 Mon, 18 Jan 2010 04:54:46 +0000
Hmm, perhaps third person about himself would work better, may scrap that last bit then...

Johnny Cash vibe ey? :P Possibly, I think I had C Am Em G as the chords, C and G always seem too strong in verses though, and my chorus and verse were the same, practically a crime, heh :)

Mp3 tomorrow maybe

Happy delayed new year too

Jay]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346383 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346356 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 07:10:04 +0000
Looking good. :D I can hear the Johnny Cash vibe, too. 8) It reminds me of a character called "The Comedian" in the Watchman movie (or comic ....oops...graphic novels :roll: :lol: )

:) The Comedian (Edward Morgan Blake)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Characters_of_Watchmen
The Comedian is Edward Morgan Blake (which is a reference to Blake Edwards), who began his vigilante career in the late 1930s as a teenager. Over the years, he became a patriotic hero for the United States. The Comedian was based on the Charlton Comics character Peacemaker, with elements of the Marvel Comics spy character Nick Fury added. Moore and Gibbons saw The Comedian as "a kind of Gordon Liddy character, only a much bigger, tougher guy". Gibbons went with a Groucho Marx-style appearance (moustache and cigar) for the Comedian in his design, deciding that the "clown" look had already been appropriated by DC comic's Joker. His costume itself was noted by Gibbons as being particularly problematic, he was initially designed with a more militaristic costume which was later dropped for a black leather outfit with a "rapist mask". He believes that humans are savage in nature, and that civilization can never be more than an idea. He therefore chooses to become a mockery of society, fighting and killing without reservation.

Blake's murder, which takes place shortly before the story begins in 1985, sets the plot of Watchmen in motion. The character appears throughout the story in flashbacks and aspects of his personality are revealed by other characters. Richard Reynolds described The Comedian as "ruthless, cynical, and nihilistic, and yet capable of deeper insights than the others into the role of the costumed hero". Nicholas Michael Grant said the Comedian is "the only character in the Watchmen universe who is almost totally unlikeable." Paige MacGregor said Comedian's unusual appeal to women was due to "the willingness of Sally Jupiter to have consensual sex with after he tried to rape her" and because of a later moment in which he breaks down and shows his "innate humanity".

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346356 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346351 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 02:50:10 +0000
Looks good, though....

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346351 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346349 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 01:46:48 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group ShadyHarrison https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-346349 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-38252 Sat, 16 Jan 2010 13:26:16 +0000
Was having a good day (in terms of less pain) so i wrote this slightly depressing ballad type song, :roll:

It's missing a middle two verses probably, oops :P


Another windy day in autumn
The clouds they seem to have spoken
Of a broken man, (who will)
Who will never be the same again

He's never seen, he's never open
He's hardly ever spoken
of his twisted past
of the crimes he's committed along the way

Oh tell me will he ever find love
Will he ever find reason, to believe
That living to hide is not his destiny (replace to hide with inside???)

Another fire lit in November
His tears they flow like embers
Down onto the path
Just to contradict his laugh

Oh now he's seen, he shows emotion
And now he seems more open
Of his yearning heart
Of the fire and of the spark

Oh tell me will he ever find love
Will he ever find reason, to believe
That living to hide is not his destiny (replace to hide with inside???)

So please, if he ever finds love
If he ever finds reason, to see
Please give him this small message from me]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8-wk-11-broken-man/#post-38252