https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:21:01 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346357 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 08:37:02 +0000
Feedback?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346357 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346339 Sat, 16 Jan 2010 18:01:37 +0000 One thing I don't understand: I guess the "her" in the bridge and the "you" in the third verse refer to the rain, but who is the "her" in the first verse? Yes, you are correct. The 3rd verse should be her. I guess I was trying to connect the singer and sky/rain, but it would make more sense with "her"....I guess I'll have to see how the mystery verse fits in to adjust the pronouns.

Thanks, Christiaan, for the listen in insightful comments. :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346339 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346334 Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:56:11 +0000
Very nice song! Thanks for that explanation too, it's very interesting, I already thought you must have come up with the guitar part first, it does conjure up images of rain right away, so well done there.
Also the image of the sun dressing up the rain in a rainbow is a very good image.

When I compare the explanation to the actual song, I'm afraid what you wanted to say doesn't come through for me. I've looked at it a while, and my advice would be to add another verse between the first and second verse, saying something like "Rain / Wish that it would fall on me / But I carry an umbrella / to keep control" (but in hopefully in better words than these :wink: )
The reasoning behind this is to better establish the singer's desire, or else the reversal of sunshine=positive, rain=negative doesn't come through for me.

One thing I don't understand: I guess the "her" in the bridge and the "you" in the third verse refer to the rain, but who is the "her" in the first verse?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Christiaan https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346334 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346284 Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:08:14 +0000
Thanks for the listen and post :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346284 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346276 Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:38:51 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group contagiousjerm https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346276 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346142 Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:16:24 +0000 Soaking through my skin (rolls off the tongue a bit better) Agreed, Thanks ***POOF**** :mrgreen: Changed for the better :wink:
(a little short for you though :roll: :wink: although I've been away for a while) Yes, but I don't think it needs more....leaves you wanting a little more....maybe a measure or 2 in an arrangement would fit the balance :roll: The lengths of my songs are changing, but I try to let the song take it's own form instead of a set time....However, still keeping 3:30 mins in the back of my mind as benchmark.
I felt you were struggling vocally with the bridge/chorus although the words work well... Yes, it is slightly atonal and having just written it....practice....practice....practice.... :wink:
Not sure what's going on in the second verse....I know it's one of your little puzzles, but just can't figure out the perspective... ****Spoiler Alert****
I started with the arpeggio progression and liked how it sounded like rain drops so I was going more for a mood. Then I wanted to keep it ethereal sounding and lyrically trying to find the StrayCat in me...complimentary in reference :wink:

I also wanted to swim against the current, as usual, :roll: and as it sometimes produces a less generic/predictable outcome...so typically sunshine is positive; rain is negative. I wanted the reverse:

The rain is personified as sensitivity or willing to show tears/emotions.
The sun(shine) is a stoic, stiff upper lip, put on a good smile/show/brave face attitude

Regarding Vs2 The animals were actually picked first in the moment then checked if symbolism would/could apply. The idea is nature is siding with the sun to keep up appearances. The fox, representing cunning (uses head instead of heart), sits stone faced watching the tears or rain someone being emotional and just keeping a distance or waiting out the rain. The blue jay, normally a talkative bird and one that mates for life, is silent and single saying to itself "this game of keeping up appearances doesn't really work...it's unnatural for me to not show emotion and I am alone because I refuse to show emotion."

So the sun comes out telling the sky or rain to stop crying- stop being emotional and put on a mask/happy face/ rainbow...which is a facade.... but ultimately it will rain again because that's what it does.....that's its nature.

Therefore the sun is a bit like a god...distant, sure, unwavering and unemotional while rain is personified to be an outpouring of emotion....not holding back....to be human/sensitive/unafraid to be real....

Finally, the singer is asking can I stop playing games and be real again with myself and others.

Oh and vs1 stepping stone symbolized life or life path ...steps we take turn to stone by time not going back....marigolds sometimes associated with death....but basically saying the rain falls impartially on all living and dead, the good and bad, sinner and saint....etc.....

Thanks again for the feedback :wink:

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346142 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346133 Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:20:10 +0000
Not sure what's going on in the second verse, but overall a pretty little ditty and very pleasant to listen to...
(a little short for you though :roll: :wink: although I've been away for a while)

I felt you were struggling vocally with the bridge/chorus although the words work well...

Rain
You soak through my skin - Soaking through my skin (rolls off the tongue a bit better)
Can I learn again
To shed a tear like you

I know it's one of your little puzzles, but just can't figure out the perspective....Oh well.

I liked it.

Rock on!
D 8)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group DylanBarrett https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-346133 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-38220 Mon, 11 Jan 2010 18:54:28 +0000
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=8598968

================UPDATED VERSION==============

Rain
Spilling on the stepping stones
Kissing all the marigolds
Falling from her eyes

Rain
Fox is watching from its hole
Never letting feelings show
Clever to a fault

Here comes the sun
With the face of a god
Dressing her in rainbows
In a grand façade

Rain
Umbrella, boots and trench coat
No more chasing rainbows
I reach out my hand

Rain
Soaking through my skin
Can I learn again
To shed a tear like her


================ORIGINAL VERSION===============
Rain
Spilling on the stepping stones
Kissing all the marigolds
Falling from her eyes

Rain
The fox is watching from its hole
The blue jay's silent on its own
Asking why

Here comes the sun
With the face of a god
Dressing her in rainbows
In a grand façade

Rain
Soaking through my skin
Can I learn again
To shed a tear like you]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y8w11-rain/#post-38220