https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:43:12 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-364094 Sun, 27 Feb 2011 18:01:10 +0000
I like this verse the way it is but it seems like the last two lines could be stronger. I immediately visualized
a ship which was cool but I wonder if it would be stronger if you actually said ship. Maybe not. Maybe it would
be too close to cliche. I think that ship as love shows up in a lot of songs.

I fell in love again
one night when the stars were out.
We were afloat in the dark
and the sky was a sea.
Our ship afloat in the dark
And the sky was a sea.

I don't know about that but I like the strange idea of floating on a sea and yet flying in a sea of stars in that verse.

I fell in love again
when the moon and the starshine
Turned on a light in me.
Oh but looking back I see that James and David gave suggestions for filling out the relationship.

Great final line. Brings it all home.

Ernie]]> Sunday Songwriters Group stikman https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-364094 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-364092 Sun, 27 Feb 2011 17:41:19 +0000
Keep up the good work.

Martin]]> Sunday Songwriters Group martin-6 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-364092 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-363985 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 19:29:55 +0000
I agree with James both in that this is a great start and also that the special sense of this individual couple loses its focus when you shift from the little details. It wouldn't take all that much. This stanza, for instance:

I fell in love again
one night when the stars were out.
We were afloat in the dark
and the sky was a sea.

Could easily turn into something like this:

I fell in love again
one night when the power went out
We sat out on the quiet curbside
and the sky became our sea.

There's a lot of potential here to turn the little moments into romantic ones.

Looking forward to more.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-363985 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-363974 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 16:27:41 +0000
Good start :D My favorite part is verse one and two. I like the idea of a couple settling into "couch potato" mode and then romance being rekindled by the loss of tv signal.

Suggestion: Consider building a bit more on the relationship. For me, it starts off strong but the shift of images from concrete to more "poetic" words caused me to lose interest.....while hauling garbage in the dark isn't the most romantic thing a couple can do LOL, it can be a starting point.....haul garbage....shoot some hopes in the moonlight....take a carton of ice cream to a make out point etc...

Thanks for sharing.......typing out all those notes must have taken a while :shock: ....couldn't you just sing it a capella into some free computer recording program and post it?

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-363974 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-363961 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 01:53:17 +0000 T:In Love Again
C:Wilhelmina
M:3/4
L:1/8
K:G
D G/G/ GFED | G G/A/ BA G2 |
DEGG G/G/ F | E F/G/ D4 |
D G/G/ GFED | G G/A/ B2 G2 |
DEF GAG | F G/E/ D4 ||

D G/G/ GFED | G G/A/ BA G2 |
D E/F/ G G/G/ G G/F/ | E F/G/ A4 |
E G/G/ GF D E/E/ | G G/A/ B2G2 |
G2 F2 G2 | A2 F2 G2 ||]]> Sunday Songwriters Group wilhelmina https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-363961 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-40822 Mon, 21 Feb 2011 18:50:26 +0000 one night when the power went out.
We were sitting around
and watching TV.

Let's go outside, he said,
and stand on the sidewalk.
We could haul the garbage
out to the street.

I fell in love again
one night when the stars were out.
We were afloat in the dark
and the sky was a sea.

I fell in love again
when the moon and the starshine
Turned on a light in me.

Wilhelmina]]> Sunday Songwriters Group wilhelmina https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w17-in-love-again/#post-40822