https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 09:41:37 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-365466 Sun, 10 Apr 2011 14:51:22 +0000
I'm attached to 'elixir', though, (for the time being). The original intent of the word goes so much farther than a shot of booze or a spoonful of cough syrup.

ELIXIR: New Oxford American Dictionary: a preparation supposedly able to prolong life indefinitely. A magical or medicinal potion. etc. etc.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group wilhelmina https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-365466 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-365373 Thu, 07 Apr 2011 04:22:08 +0000
Terrific job with this! I'm with Chris on the favorite lines (the "food-like-substances aisle" has truly made my day!) and my only suggestion is with the following line:
This section extends halfway down through the store! Singing "section" and extends" one right after the other is pretty tough and I'm not sure it will come across clearly. You could use
This aisle extends halfway down through the store! or perhaps
This section takes up more than half the store! It's a minor quibble, though. Nice job!

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-365373 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-365316 Tue, 05 Apr 2011 17:37:49 +0000
Looks good :D Good job on focusing on the topic.

I particularly like these lines:
"And cruise through the food-like-substances aisle." :lol:

"Too many choices! Which one should I take?
Come on, manufacturers, give me a break!"

Oh, what the heck, I'll take one of each. NICE RESOLUTION TO TOO MANY CHOICES :wink:

Suggestion: Consider substituting "elixir" as it is associated more with a drink or liquid than a food item.

elixir /elix·ir/ (e-lik´ser) a clear, sweetened, alcohol-containing, usually hydroalcoholic liquid containing flavoring substances and sometimes active medicinal ingredients.
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/elixir


Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-365316 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-41073 Tue, 05 Apr 2011 15:08:12 +0000 I often think I'll just stick to the 'writing' part of songwriting because the rest of the business feels so intimidating, but then..... I may be like the prude who sentences herself to spinsterhood by refusing to go all the way. She won't ever know what she's missing but she might have gotten a big kick out of adding a new skill to her life, once she got the hang of it.

You see my avatar? She's Grrr. That''s me with my guitar. Still struggling with Twinkle Twinkle. - Wilhelmina


"Wholly Cheese!"

(In case you don't know, “Wholly Cheese” is the new slogan for a popular brand of cheese snacks that my husband is addicted to. When I say he's the addict, this means he buys, I share.)


I'm at the Winn Dixie, down at the back.
I'm weak, and I'm having a snack attack.
I go on a binge like this once in a while
And cruise through the food-like-substances aisle.

Chorus:
Too many choices! Which one should I take?
Come on, manufacturers, give me a break!
It isn't elixir I'm looking for here,
It's just something crunchy to go with a beer.

I'm looking for salty, cheesy and fried,
Something, perhaps, I haven't yet tried.
Here's one that's REGULAR, and REGULAR REDUCED FAT.
This sounds o.k. I'd be happy with that.
But wait a minute! Hold on, there's more!
These goodies extend halfway down through the store!

Chorus:
Too many choices! Which one should I take?
Come on, manufacturers, give me a break!
It isn't elixir I'm looking for here,
It's just something crunchy to go with a beer.

Here's some WHITE CHEDDAR WITH REDUCED FAT
And REGULAR WHITE CHEDDAR, and CHEDDAR JACK.
Down here's HOT & SPICY. Up there's PEPPER JACK,
Either in singles or in the twelve pack.
And then there's the DUOZ, almost out of reach.
Oh, what the heck, I'll take one of each.

Chorus:
Too many choices! Which one should I take?
Come on, manufacturers, give me a break!
It isn't elixir I'm looking for here,
It's just something crunchy to go with a beer.

Just something crunchy to go with a beer.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group wilhelmina https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/y9w9-wholly-cheese/#post-41073