https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 01:51:28 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-102485 Sun, 15 May 2005 14:45:49 +0000
These last couple of asignments have been verry interesting. Being given the words to work with has been an interesting challenge.

For me the challenge this week was not to make a political song and not to use all the phrases in one verse.

As you can see I totally failed on the later and only had minor success on the former. My idea was to present this as the parinoia of a person losing touch with reality but it appears there would be some truth in what the character has to say.

The Rhyme scheme is quite intentional and I only hope I can set it to suitablely dark music to make it work. Portia, I agree with you comment about the "yoda-ish " line in the last verse it is forced. I'm not very happy with that entire verse but haven't been able to come up with anything better yet. Oh well,I'll keep trying.

Thank you all once again for your comments

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-102485 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-102137 Fri, 13 May 2005 03:15:46 +0000
:) Portia]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Portia https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-102137 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-102116 Fri, 13 May 2005 00:26:38 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group geoffrey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-102116 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101963 Wed, 11 May 2005 19:36:36 +0000
I also liked the play betweem internal and global conflict....leastways, that's the way I read it....

So what is the price of a soul on this day
Do they pay you in silver and gold
and who is to blame
When we've all gone insane
Will this madness prevail uncontrolled

I really really like that....stron powerful imagery, the verses are pretty good but this is excellent....really adds a powerful motif to the song....

:D :D :D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101963 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101920 Wed, 11 May 2005 08:12:29 +0000 They won't be left behindGreat part. It seemed to me that the voices were in the man's mind and were growing, no matter how hard he tried to evade them. I really related to this one. Keep it up!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pierson https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101920 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101903 Wed, 11 May 2005 05:34:59 +0000 As for the rhyming, its just a personal preference really, and of course each song stands by itself. I guess when Im reading something as opposed to listening to it, if it bounces along i get distracted from the message. That is, the rhythm of the poem grabs hold my emotions, as a song of course, the melody would do that job. So if the mood created by the rhyming is not the intended mood of the song, then for me there's a conflict. I still think its a great song. Id love to hear it. :D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101903 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101888 Wed, 11 May 2005 04:20:39 +0000
I thought it was fine Celt. The ryhming didn't seem forced, and it made me chuckle how you pretty much got all the phrases out of the way in the first verse. I could almost hear you sighing great relief on that one. Nice job.

Joe]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101888 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101845 Wed, 11 May 2005 00:02:00 +0000 I like the Angels and Demons battle as a philosophical conflict versus an internal one. I also like the way the battle happens within each person but the war is on a societal level. When I read it I felt that the rhyming was a bit bouncy for my taste. How it sounds as a song of course is a different story. Anyway good job. :D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101845 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101805 Tue, 10 May 2005 19:35:01 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group katreich https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-101805 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-8972 Tue, 10 May 2005 19:14:38 +0000
My apoligies to Barry Mcguire for the "Eve of Destruction" line.

I guess I shouldn't have read Vic's posting before finishing this.

Schizophrenia

All the Angels and Demons
That live in our thoughts
Wage war for our
Hearts and our minds
Nation after Nation
Of legions have fought
The Poorest of Poor
Sent to man the front lines

So what is the price of a soul on this day
Do they pay you in silver and gold
and who is to blame
When we've all gone insane
Will this madness prevail uncontrolled

All the flotsam and jetsam
That reason has wrought
Lays waste to the
Soul of mankind
Mothers anf Fathers
The lies they have taught
Is The Eve of Destruction
Drawing near in these times


So what is the price of a soul on this day
Do they pay you in silver and gold
and who is to blame
When we've all gone insane
Will this madness prevail uncontrolled

All the doctor and lawyers
In thier snare have us caught
This 6 by 9 cage
Is it mine
Pills and injections
Are all for naught
The voices persist
They won't be left behind

So what is the price of a soul on this day
Do they pay you in silver and gold
and who is to blame
When we've all gone insane
Will this madness prevail uncontrolled

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-27-schizophrenia/#post-8972