https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:24:34 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-116062 Sun, 07 Aug 2005 16:17:48 +0000 Well I took my share of pleasure
I caused my shared the pain
I gave you nothing but my agony
Can I ever wash away that stain I'm guessing you meant, "I caused my share of pain." If so, then I like that line, and the rest too. Well done.

Joe]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-116062 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-116010 Sun, 07 Aug 2005 06:22:28 +0000
Thank You all For your comments and advice.

I tried a rewrite on this and I am much more satisfied with it.

I think it is closer to what I had in mind when I started and it now
has a musical direction.

Rough Mp3 @ SoundClick

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/9/thecelt_music.htm


The Journey (Rewrite)


When we took the road less traveled
We almost lost our way
But if it wasn't for the journey
Could we be standing here today

If we chose another pathway
Through this forest of dissent
I doubt we'd have made this pilgramage
Doubt we'd take time to repent

Too many died
proclaming they were right
Too many cried
in our songs
Too many tried
to beat back the night
On this road paved with good deeds gone wrong

Well I took my share of pleasure
I caused my share of pain
I gave you nothing but my agony
Can I ever wash away that stain

If I felt my own misfortunes
Were in judgement for my deeds
I would offer alms of repentence and say
That's the price we pay for greed

Too many died
proclaming they were right
Too many cried
in our songs
Too many tried
to beat back the night
On this road paved with good deeds gone wrong

On a day not unlike tomorrow
Nearer the journey's end
Will we barter for our forgivness
As we turn that final bend

When we took the road less traveled
We almost lost our way
And as we tally up the miles
We're approaching judgement day

Too many died
proclaming they were right
Too many cried
in our songs
Too many tried
to beat back the night
On this road paved with good deeds gone wrong


Too many died
Too many cried
Too many tried
Far too many died

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-116010 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115636 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:31:37 +0000
I'm still not sure about this song Or I should say poem
as I have no idea about music for it.

I think Chris makes some good points other than that my spelling some times sucks :oops: (Thanks I'll fix that)

The line about the "million people" is almost just a filler line.

Pbee also makes some good points.The "pilgramage"works
better if I change it.

Well, Thank you all for your comments.

I think I'll back burner this for
awile and come back to it fresh some other time.

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115636 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115632 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 05:07:38 +0000
How could anyone resist somethat that starts with:

"When we took the road less traveled
We almost lost our way"

Had to see where you'd taken Frost's imagery. :)

I stumbled a couple of times reading it. E.g. "Through forest of desent" - thinking "does he mean descent?" and then hitting on "dissent" - but that's just typo stuff and wouldn't occur when sung.

For some reason "Of the million people's agony" tripped me up too. I thought "which million people? Did I miss something?". It just seemed a bit too specific. Did you have a particular million in mind, from the poem, or from history or whatever, or was it more in the sense of a lot of people in general?

Great theme and some nice phrases that could be encouraged to stick in the listeners ears..

Another one that I've put on my list of "when I register at sound click.." songs.. :) :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115632 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115613 Fri, 05 Aug 2005 03:49:11 +0000
I'll be sure to listen it a little bit later when I have a few more minutes of time.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group PoeticSmile https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115613 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115389 Thu, 04 Aug 2005 06:53:35 +0000
Joe]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Joe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115389 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115381 Thu, 04 Aug 2005 06:15:52 +0000
Good song. I really like these: On a day not unlike tomorrow
Nearer the journey's end As a metaphor for the inevitable these are great lines.

For my tuppence worth I would prefer these lines Could we still be here today To be more assertive like
"We would not be here today"
and Could we still have made this pilgramage To be
"I doubt we'd have made this pilgramage"
Trouble is it might change your meaning a bit, but I feel that if your going to point the finger (by way of the chorus) lets not hold back in the verse. Good stuff as it is though.

pb]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-115381 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-10723 Thu, 04 Aug 2005 05:12:37 +0000
Apologies to Robert Frost http://www.bartleby.com/119/1.html

The Journey (I know it's not the most original of titles ) :oops:


When we took the road less traveled
We almost lost our way
But if it wasn't for the journey
Could we still be here today

And if we chose another pathway
Through forest of dissent
Could we still have made this pilgramage
To the place where we repent

Too many have died
proclaming they're right
Too many have cried
in our songs
Too many have tried
to beat back the night
On this road paved with good deeds gone wrong

When we took our share of pleasure
We also shared the pain
Of the million people's agony
Can we wash away that stain

If we felt our own misfortunes
Were judgements for our deeds
We would offer alms of repentence
That's the price we pay for greed

Too many have died
proclaming they're right
Too many have cried
in our songs
Too many have tried
to beat back the night
On this road paved with good deeds gone wrong

On a day not unlike tomorrow
Nearer the journey's end
Will we ask for our forgivness
As we turn that final bend

When we took the road less traveled
We almost lost our way
And as we tally up the miles
We're approaching judgement day

Too many have died
proclaming they're right
Too many have cried
in our songs
Too many have tried
to beat back the night
On this road paved with good deeds gone wrong

Celt]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-3-wk-39-the-journey/#post-10723