https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 02:48:18 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161956 Sun, 26 Feb 2006 00:15:21 +0000
I'm not all that pleased with this version but
will post it anyways.

Stephen

I really like the version in my head but so far
I'm the only one who can hear it.

Thanks for your input

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161956 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161696 Fri, 24 Feb 2006 06:29:53 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group Anonymous https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161696 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161647 Fri, 24 Feb 2006 02:12:06 +0000
marty]]> Sunday Songwriters Group sytys https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161647 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161466 Thu, 23 Feb 2006 05:04:52 +0000
Part of the reason I posted this without the back story
was I needed to know if I was putting things across
in the right manner. From you responses I would
say I did fair. Saber you are right on up to the point
where you talk about him seeking his own cure.

If anything self medication of psychedelics earlier
contributed to the situation. Steve has been pretty
much a walking zombie for years ( arms stiff by his
side and eyes fixed straight ahead) The few times I've
spoken to him over the years there has been no remote
sign of recognition. I think Pbee is closer to what I was
trying to say.

So I think the bridge needs to be rewritten keeping in what
Martin said about the word Psychiatry. Not only is it too blunt
but it makes it sound as if I'm angry with the profession
Which is only true to the point that I miss my friend.

My working rewrite goes something like:

I remember all those years ago
Your eyes would smile as you laughed
Until their quest to pacify your mind
Blurred their soul on your behalf

I'm trying to work the music out for this but
am having trouble getting my voice and fingers
to do what I'm hearing in my head.

Thanks again

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161466 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161100 Tue, 21 Feb 2006 20:11:18 +0000 Well I like this song, I think you've captured what I believe to be the main point. Is the cure worse than the illness? Either way the loss is expressed nicely, well done. When I read the song I didn't get the feeling that he had tried to cure himself although that may have been your meaning.

Cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161100 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161005 Tue, 21 Feb 2006 14:35:01 +0000
That is all I can say.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group martin-6 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-161005 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-160970 Tue, 21 Feb 2006 09:04:07 +0000
O.k., alright, I'm dead inside too.

but my body still moves :twisted:

Alright, as far as the song goes, I'd expand the concept. From what I can tell, this is a friend of yours who you used to hang out with, then he started to loose it and distance himself from the world. I guess he went to see a doctor, and they gave him meds or something. Then he pursued psychiatry himself, maybe to find his own cure? And his view of the world became sterile from turning the human capabilities into scientific measurements.

After a bit of picking, that's what I could see. If that is right, I'd try to tie his treatment to the fact that he took up the practice, because right now the song jumps dramatically from him receiving treatment, to suddenly him becoming cold from giving treatment.
This could just be me though.

I like it. Keep it up.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Saber https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-160970 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-160947 Tue, 21 Feb 2006 06:17:09 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group chefie https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-160947 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-15672 Tue, 21 Feb 2006 05:13:55 +0000
I think I'd rather post this one without any of the
back story except to say it comes from real life.


Stephen

Do you remember long ago
We played guitars down by the lakeside
Now who you were and who I am
Doesn't mean a thing inside your mind

No you're not the man you use to be
I wish that I could see behind the stare

Was it the madness or the cure
That made your eyes as if they could see through me
What was it that the doctors did
That took away the knowledge we were friends

No I'm not the man I use to be
I wish that I could see behind the stare

(Bridge)

It was over thirty years ago
When your eyes would smile as you laughed
Then the practice of Psychiatry
Blurred their very soul on your behalf

Do you remember long ago
We played guitars down by the lakeside
Now who you were and who I am
Doesn't mean a thing inside your mind

No you're not the man you use to be
I wish that I could see behind the stare

No we're not the men we use to be
I wish that we could see beyond the stare

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-4-wk-16-stephen-with-mp3/#post-15672