https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 19:39:47 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-211232 Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:39:12 +0000
When I was writing it I wasn't necessarily thinking about Dylan, but he is my favorite lyricist at the moment. And so you can see the influence.

And yeah, the last bit was supposed to have a different structure. Sort of my way of not creating an entirely pessimistic piece.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group mhlandry https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-211232 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-211097 Sun, 26 Nov 2006 12:48:08 +0000
Liked this a lot the set up for the last verse is well done. As Vic and John say the repetiotion can be broken up using music rather than a bridge orchorus. Although saying that it might be an idea to try even if only for the sake of having a go.

Good stuff

Bob :wink:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Bob https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-211097 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210953 Sat, 25 Nov 2006 03:42:52 +0000
So now I'd say, no, doesn't need a bridge or chorus, stands on its own two feet....I really hope you're thinking Dylan or Neil Young style for this.......

The last verse struck me as being a different tempo/rhyming scheme to the others - but because it's an ABAB pattern, I'm presuming it's deliberate.....

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210953 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210496 Wed, 22 Nov 2006 15:53:15 +0000
You have some very nice stuff here. Usually we are our own worst
critics but I think you are right on the money.
seems kind of staccato for my taste... especially "But before I could reply". That line does break the flow quite a bit. As you said "staccato"

I don't have a good idea on how the edit that. Maybe :?:
Before he would wait for my reply Or something like that.

As far as what Barabus said about a bridge or something.
I agree but we only have the lyrics here and the break could
from an instrumental interlude maybe after the second or
third verse.

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210496 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210475 Wed, 22 Nov 2006 11:04:35 +0000
But I was thinking just something to give the listner/ reader a break then back into the song ..

{ this is just my opinion and as you have read lately I am no great writer myself }]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210475 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210473 Wed, 22 Nov 2006 10:59:58 +0000
What you have is pretty nice but after reading it a few times to me it needs something to break up the Wandering , a chorus or bridge ..

Just to break it up a little

Trev... I was using the repetition to drive home the idea of "daily grind." Not effective?]]> Sunday Songwriters Group mhlandry https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210473 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210470 Wed, 22 Nov 2006 10:37:35 +0000
What you have is pretty nice but after reading it a few times to me it needs something to break up the Wandering , a chorus or bridge ..

Just to break it up a little

Trev...]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-210470 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-22030 Wed, 22 Nov 2006 07:08:22 +0000
seems kind of staccato for my taste... especially "But before I could reply". So much school work though.

----------------

Wanderin' down the road one day
I met a preacher clad in black
He asked me about the things that I knew
But before I could reply
He told me all the things I mustn't do

Wanderin' down the road one day
I met a businessman who wore a well-pressed suit
He asked if I knew what I wanted
But before I could reply
He told me all the things I needed

Wanderin' down the road one day
I met the king of town
He said “how ya doin' son?”
But before I could reply
He told me the things I had to get done

Wanderin' down the road one day
I met my true love along the way
She asked me what I wanted and why
And then waited for me to reply]]> Sunday Songwriters Group mhlandry https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-5-week-3-wanderin/#post-22030