https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 22:14:11 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295811 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:21:00 +0000
Very effective and very singable. It passes what I think is an important test of a song, as opposed to a piece of prose or a poem, in that it tells a story, but that it still survives as selection of small bits.

Unless the singing and arrangement is unusually clear and precise, it's fairly rare to be able to hear a full song, word by word, thought by thought, and 'get' everything exactly as the writer originally intended. Instead we tend to hear key phrases and bits of lyrics. If they paint a similar picture, but in a more impressionist or abstract sort of way then that's ideal, because that's mostly how most of us will hear it anyway. Your song is more or less a succession of lyric 'hooks', or short successful ideas and phrases, all of which serve the same theme. So I thought it worked very well.

A while back I was reading through a Bruce Springsteen songbook, and his lyrics on some songs looked pretty ordinary, or even quite muddled, if read like poetry. But when sung they absolutely came to life - punch after punch exactly on target - and if you missed a few words or a phrase it didn't matter much. The feel was there right from the start. Any extra detail could be picked up later but it didn't vary from the first feel, it just added to it. So I'm trying to do the same when I write now. I can churn out corny poetry by the yard without much trouble, but I've still got a long way to go before I master good song forms. You've always been way ahead of me with songwriting, so It's no surprise to see another good job done here.

Cheers,

Chris

PS I quite like Kenrogers suggestion of crying before dying too. And (because I can pick anybody's typos except my own... :roll: it should be 'its' not 'it's' in "And when day break brings it's morning light".]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295811 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295734 Mon, 09 Jun 2008 21:42:01 +0000 Cry before you die.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group KR2 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295734 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295668 Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:38:05 +0000 I like the stark sincerity of this one.

Just a few thoughts:
When I place it to a melody in my head, it seems ideally suited for something 94-96 bpm. When you record it, have you thought of starting quieter and working your way up to a cresecendo, then softening again at the end?

Can't wait to hear what you do with it.

Chris]]> Sunday Songwriters Group CCourtney https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295668 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295608 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:17:40 +0000
I'll see if I can rework the bridge some with your suggestions.
I'm not totally satisfied with it anyways.

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295608 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295605 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:59:29 +0000
Jack]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jackss565 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295605 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295593 Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:05:46 +0000
The "last thing on my mind" word play that Paul noticed is brilliant. I'd welcome the idea of dropping maybe one more tiny little hint to it in the last longer bit or in the bridge (so that dumb ones like me get it, with a bit of pondering, on their own, too :wink: )...

Neat!
Cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295593 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295114 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 02:42:54 +0000
Lovely piece of writing my friend , very nicely put together ...

When I looked at the title I was wondering what words rhymed with Melissa , the only one I came up with was sister ...

But you didn't need a rhyme at all , well done mate

Cheers

Trev..]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295114 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295101 Thu, 05 Jun 2008 01:22:47 +0000
cheers
Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-295101 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-32016 Wed, 04 Jun 2008 17:45:01 +0000

Melissa

If I were to die tonight
You'd be the last thing on my mind
And If I were to cry tonight
It would be from leaving you behind

Melissa
I've known no other love but you
Melissa
We were so much more than two

If I were to call tonight
Would you pick up the phone
And if I were to stop on by
Would I find you on you own

Melissa
I've known no other love but you
Melissa
We were so much more than two

(Bridge)
Sometimes in the dead of night
I wake and call your name
And when day break brings it's morning light
It can never be the same

Melissa

Oh Melissa

If I were to die tonight
You'd be the last thing on my mind
And If I were to cry tonight
It would be from leaving you behind

Melissa

Oh Melissa...

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-6-wk-31-melissa/#post-32016