https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 15:17:19 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-357412 Sat, 31 Jul 2010 16:09:47 +0000 (did stumble a bit at "flamming plot", too, but am convinced now, after your explanantion)

cheers,
straycat.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group straycat. https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-357412 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-357202 Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:36:33 +0000 James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-357202 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-357194 Tue, 27 Jul 2010 10:38:39 +0000 The flamming plot ..As in the song basically means lossing your mind , going crazy :)

Thanks for the link , I wonder if Sarah McLachlan will sing it for me ...he he hehe

Appreciate the time and effort to reply

Thanks
Trev :note1:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-357194 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356959 Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:26:20 +0000
Good start :D I am hearing something non-bluesy more along the lines of "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xyGOeG8vdo

I'm not sure I get what is going on in the lyrics, but that's ok vagueness has it's place. I'm picturing the singer is wondering if it is worth entering a relationship afraid of losing who he or afraid of change or being changed.

I don't know/understand this reference "Or have I lost the flamming plot"

I am open to spoilers if you are willing to share. :wink:

Thanks.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356959 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356670 Fri, 16 Jul 2010 21:07:25 +0000
I really like the hook "If I lost", I think the concept for the song is very strong.

The first verse is just great.
The second is ok but I think you can do better on the line "Would it mean a real lot".
I could suggest "Would it still be worth a shot" which would open up the story for more exploration.

After 2 verses the song starts to get repetitive. It could maybe use a short bridge or refrain, 2 lines would do the trick I think.

I think you should keep plugging away like Vic says - even if it takes longer than a week I think the result will be worth it. Think big, your song has a load of potential.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group martin-6 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356670 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356522 Tue, 13 Jul 2010 13:38:09 +0000
Appreciate you comments , thanks heaps :)

The plot line will stay , the exact wording might change everytime I sing it tho ..lol

Thanks again ...
cheers
Trev.. :note2: :note1: :mrgreen:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356522 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356447 Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:43:41 +0000
Funny you mention 12 - bar blues , I am learning to play that , and thats what I was doing when , I started singing

"If I lost who Iam " ...
The rest just sort of came after that , The plot line yeah well I agree probably isn't the greatest an I do struggle with it , and I have tried and Tried other lines and so on ...After aout an hour , I said "screw it " ... thats all I can think of , so thats why its how it is ,,lol

Appreciate the feed back as usual Vic ...
Cheers
Trev
:) :note2:]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356447 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356442 Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:07:43 +0000
Nothing much wrong with this, far as I can see - all I'd suggest is looking at line lengths, get a more consistent flow to the song, cut out any unnecessary syllables...."If I lost the flamming(sic) plot" could easily be shortened to "If I lost the plot" if you dragged the syllables out, or lengthened to "If I lost the whole darn plot," depending on the music.

Suggestion - try some music like Dylan's "Rainy Day Women" for this - IMO, it'd work pretty well in a 12-bar blues style. At least, that's how I'm hearing it in my head....

:D :D :D

Vic]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-356442 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-39549 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 07:11:17 +0000 I have a slighty different angle on the assignment tho , I hope it reads as good as it is in my demented head :)

If I lost

If I lost who I am
Would I be a lonely man
Or would you hold my hand
If I lost If I lost If I lost

If I lost what I got
Would it mean a real lot
Or have I lost the flamming plot
If I lost If I lost If I lost

If I lost all my world
Would it be to a pretty girl
With diamonds and white pearls
If I lost If I lost If I lost

If I lost who I am
Would I be a lonely man
Or would you hold my hand
If I lost If I lost If I lost

If I lost If I lost If I lost
---
If I lost If I lost If I lost

____________________________________________________________________________________________________
All comments greatly appreciated
Trev :)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group BarnaBus RoX https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-8-week-36/#post-39549