https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 10:03:35 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361506 Tue, 07 Dec 2010 22:10:01 +0000
Another way of bringing more of a Celtic feel to it may be to give the song more of a triplet feel to the rhythm - working in either 6/8 or 12 / 8 time. It's a relatively easy thing to do - we've even got a lesson here at Guitar Noise that does it with a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, that you can find here: https://www.guitarnoise.com/lesson/lynyrd-meets-dadgad/

This may totally change the mood you've got going here, even though it doesn't have to. I like it as it is, by the way, but should you want to experiment some more, you've certainly got options.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361506 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361498 Tue, 07 Dec 2010 17:03:07 +0000
Nice work on the mp3. :D

Suggestion:
#1
Consider more contrast between the chorus and verse. For me, I can hear the words "Diamonds" and "Hearts" being held longer and going up in pitch.....maybe even having the chorus in major and the verses in minor.
#2
Also, you might want to check out a "celtic/Irish" sounding scales/mode and try to emphasize those notes to give it more of an Irish flavor.

Here are some examples I came across:
http://www.firepowr.com/tunes/Cliffsofmoher.mid
http://www.firepowr.com/tommypeoples.mid
http://www.firepowr.com/mode.html

Thanks for sharing.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361498 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361475 Tue, 07 Dec 2010 05:33:26 +0000
Anyways I finally got an MP3 of this posted

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=9966511

:note1: :note1: :note1:

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361475 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361362 Fri, 03 Dec 2010 05:17:19 +0000
Ernie]]> Sunday Songwriters Group stikman https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361362 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361347 Thu, 02 Dec 2010 22:15:11 +0000
I like the rewrite, this is turning out quite nicely. My only quibble is this line
She made her way to the USA
Where she met a Galway man
They raised themselves a family
and worked a piece of land

for me it feels a little forced, why does it matter that he came from Galway? so Im thinking maybe something more general like this:
She made her way to the USA
Where she met another man
They raised themselves a family
and worked a piece of land cheers

Paul]]> Sunday Songwriters Group pbee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361347 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361323 Wed, 01 Dec 2010 23:29:15 +0000
Good eyes all. It seems you all picked up on what my seem as minor issues
but when they are correct should make the song as a whole better.

First verse: the double use of work

I'm inclined to go with "toiled". That was what I was thinking
even before reading James' suggestion.

Second verse: last line

Yes, it's a little awkward. That was my third or fourth attempt at that line
and I probably over thought somewhat. The original line was closer to what
James suggested so again I'm leaning in that direction
In the second verse you are telling four stories.
1) He has become an alcoholic
2) He has tried to cheat at cards
3) He has been murdered for attempting to cheat in a game
4) She is the only one that misses him
That's an awful lot to put into one verse. I suspect that you could turn these crucial plot elements into 2-3 verses You may have a point but I'm already thinking length may be a problem with this song.
It may be a lot for one verse but I do think it follows a logical progression.
In the thrird verse, the word "still" is repeated. Even though it has different meanings in the two lines, I think the repetiton is unwanted. I suggest the first line be changed to something like "But sometimes on the darkest nights"

Done!

Ok latest edit

King of Diamonds & Queen of Hearts

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

She was just a girl back then
And he not quite a man
When Father James McNally
Joined them hand and hand

She found work as a washer girl
Where she toiled night and day
While he spent time in the gaming house
Just another hand to play

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

He said "Someday lads I'll hit it big
I'll throw away these cards.''
But the stakes kept growing larger
and the losing got too hard

He crawled into a bottle
put aces up his sleeve
When they found him in that alleyway
She was the only one who greived

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

She made her way to the USA
Where she met a Galway man
They raised themselves a family
and worked a piece of land

But sometimes on the darkest nights
She still dreams about her King
'Til she can't fight the teardrops
or the heartache that it brings

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

At this point an MP3 is doubtful due to demands on my time.
Hopefully it won't take another 6 year.

:note1: :note1: :note1:

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361323 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361311 Wed, 01 Dec 2010 17:26:27 +0000 She found work as a washer girl
She worked both night and day
While he spent time in the gaming house
Just another hand to play

...

He crawled into a bottle
put aces up his sleeve
When they found him in that alleyway
It was only her who grieved

....
But sometimes in the dark still night
She still dreams about her King
'Til she can't fight the teardrops
or the heartache that it brings
I copied three verses above. In the first verse the second line mught be changed to "She toiled might and day" to eliminate the repition of the word "work".

In the second verse you are telling four stories.
1) He has become an alcoholic
2) He has tried to cheat at cards
3) He has been murdered for attempting to cheat in a game
4) She is the only one that misses him
That's an awful lot to put into one verse. I suspect that you could turn these crucial plot elements into 2-3 verses.

In the thrird verse, the word "still" is repeated. Even though it has different meanings in the two lines, I think the repetiton is unwanted. I suggest the first line be changed to something like "But sometimes on the darkest nights"]]> Sunday Songwriters Group John Sargent https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361311 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361275 Tue, 30 Nov 2010 15:56:00 +0000
Good start.....or restart :roll: Nice story telling :D
Not sure you want "work" in both these lines:

She found work as a washer girl
She worked both night and day
While he spent time in the gaming house
Just another hand to play another suggestion for this part:
She found work as a washer girl
toiled night and day

another suggestion for this part: When they found him in that alleyway
It was only her who grieved When they found him in that alleyway
She's the only that grieved

As far as music, I kept hearing John Denver's tune "The Marvelous Toy" -but with more of an Irish twang of course :wink:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shLW2NPTsN8

Thanks for sharing :D

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361275 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361255 Tue, 30 Nov 2010 07:56:40 +0000
I remember this one and I like the way it's turned out. Very much looking forward to hearing it as an Irish piece. I especially like the first half of the first verse (where they get married) and the new take on the final verse.

Not sure you want "work" in both these lines:
She found work as a washer girl
She worked both night and day
While he spent time in the gaming house
Just another hand to play So I might suggest something like this:

The money she made as a washer girl
Working both night and day
He'd stake out at the gaming house
For another hand to play

And the last line of this stanza just reads awkwardly:
He crawled into a bottle
put aces up his sleeve
When they found him in that alleyway
It was only her who grieved And I'm not really sure how to tweak it. I keep coming to

When they found him in that alleyway
The Queen alone did grieve

But I'm not really thrilled with this either. I'll have to give it more thought.

As mentioned, looking forward to hearing this one reborn.

Peace]]> Sunday Songwriters Group David Hodge https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-361255 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-40334 Tue, 30 Nov 2010 04:13:50 +0000 posted song. At that time it was set in Reno NV.

The original post can be seen here:
http://forums.guitarnoise.com/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=9189

I always liked this one but could never quite make it work musically.

Anyways my country this week is the country of my ancestors. Ireland
I tried to write something about The Potato Famine and people leaving
for greener pastures in American. You know,one of those sad Irish stories
about love lost and all. Well no good story came to mind when I remembered
The King and Queen. I thought it might work well with the chords I was messing
with trying to write a song. End result I changed location and made a few other changes
in order to make it more Irishcentrict :roll:

Somebody still comes to America so the music
is a bit Irish and a bit American Folk.

No MP3 yet I'm still tweaking the music
but here is where I'm at lyrically.


King of Diamonds & Queen of Hearts

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

She was just a girl back then
And he not quite a man
When Father James McNally
Joined them hand and hand

She found work as a washer girl
She worked both night and day
While he spent time in the gaming house
Just another hand to play

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

He said "Someday lads I'll hit it big
I'll throw away these cards.''
But the stakes kept growing larger
and the losing got too hard

He crawled into a bottle
put aces up his sleeve
When they found him in that alleyway
It was only her who grieved

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

She made her way to the USA
Where she met a Galway man
They raised themselves a family
and worked a piece of land

But sometimes in the dark still night
She still dreams about her King
'Til she can't fight the teardrops
or the heartache that it brings

He was the King of Diamonds
and she the Queen of Hearts
And he pledged to her undying love
Swore they'd never part

:note1: :note1: :note1:

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/year-9-wk-5-king-of-diamonds-queen-of-hearts-mp3-added/#post-40334