https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Fri, 05 Jun 2026 07:10:59 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-331170 Thu, 11 Jun 2009 14:24:29 +0000
Good start :D I might be tempted to try and think of a slight twist or extra little punch towards the end, I like Chris' suggestion...it's a bit of a let down that what he would say in the letter would be the exact same that he said...but I know that's the nature of going back to the chorus...."folk style(s)" seems a bit more relaxed or varied when it comes to structure compared to "pop" of a majority verse chorus structure.... maybe you should experiment a bit with the song structure to make the message have a stronger impact.

....I didn't see it commented by others, so maybe it's just me, but the title "Stay alive", is a bit too close to Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees to not make me think of disco. Maybe hearing it would help break the association.

James]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jamestoffee https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-331170 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-331037 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 09:11:42 +0000 Sunday Songwriters Group jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-331037 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330993 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 03:28:02 +0000 "I guess all songs is folk songs. I never heard no horse sing 'em."
Big Bill Broonzy

:lol: :lol: That's class. If I hadn't just updated my sig, I'd do it now.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330993 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330979 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:51:13 +0000
Good Job! Reads like a Folk song to me.

From Wikipedia:

Folk music can have a number of different meanings, but most commonly refers to Traditional music. The original meaning of the term "folk music" was synonymous with the term "Traditional music", also often including World Music and Roots music; the term "Traditional music" was given its more specific meaning to distinguish it from the other definitions that "Folk music" is now considered to encompass.

Folk music can also describe a particular kind of popular music which is based on traditional music. In contemporary times, this kind of folk music is often performed by professional musicians. Related genres include folk rock, electric folk and progressive folk music.

In American culture, folk music refers to the American folk music revival, music exemplified by such musicians as Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly, Pete Seeger, Ramblin' Jack Elliott, Bob Dylan, Phil Ochs, Tom Paxton, and Joan Baez, who popularized and encouraged the lyrical style in the 1950s and 1960s. This has its counterpart in the English Folk Revival of the 1960s, exemplified by artists and groups such as Martin Carthy, Donovan, Ralph McTell, Magna Carta, Fairport Convention and Steeleye Span.

Work For Me

:note1: :note1: :note1:

John]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Celt https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330979 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330876 Tue, 09 Jun 2009 01:46:40 +0000
"I guess all songs is folk songs. I never heard no horse sing 'em."
Big Bill Broonzy


It's a pretty wide field, and your song looks like it would fit right in. I liked the way it set a scene, introduced some characters and told a story. I might be tempted to try and think of a slight twist or extra little punch towards the end, but it works fine as it it is. It looks very 'singable' too. :)

Cheers,

Chris]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Chris C https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330876 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330836 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:41:18 +0000
It's good. It says what it wants to say about a very short span of time and it gets it done without fuss. I like it.


A :-) +1 to all of that. And don't worry about not being sure if it is folksy enough or if you wrote too much of a story - folk music generally tends to focus on story-telling, and you have done an admirable job right here. Congrats!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Scrybe https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330836 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330827 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:37:01 +0000
It's good. It says what it wants to say about a very short span of time and it gets it done without fuss. I like it.


A :-)]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Alan Green https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-330827 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-36233 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:43:44 +0000
The customers wait
At the corner shop
And the old man is lying inside

He stares at a photo
Of his distant past
All the people they've already died

Chorus
He says sonny it's over
I've had a good time
There's nothing here left for me
He says sonny it's over
This is my time
I wish I could stay, stay alive

The hospital opens
Its welcoming arms
The stretcher, rushes inside

I close my eyes
I turn away
And when I open them again he's gone

The nurses they
Hover, pestering me
And all I need, is a quiet place

I open his letter
Left to me
And this is what he says

Chorus
He says sonny it's over
I've had a good time
There's nothing here left for me
He says sonny it's over
This is my time
I wish I could stay, stay alive]]> Sunday Songwriters Group jaythejoker https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr-7-wk32-stay-alive/#post-36233