https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/ Guitar Noise Discussion Board en-US Thu, 04 Jun 2026 15:32:49 +0000 wpForo 60 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85968 Thu, 20 Jan 2005 23:56:13 +0000
Scratch, You got the literal translation. I had the idea of like an Old nutcracker on a shelf and ine of the New line of barbie dolls. That is what the song literally translates into but on the emotional side I wrote it about a girl I know. Who is in fact too young being only 15 for me to have. I'm only 18 but still you have to have moral limits. Basically it is about toys, with a hidden meaning about a girl i know.

At least to one person my style worked. Vagueness paints the prettiest pictures.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Dictator https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85968 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85934 Thu, 20 Jan 2005 20:55:52 +0000
As gjbrake said, you really capture the feeling of desperate longing, and convey it quite well. I like the song you've put together here. The only thing I don't really get, (and could just be that I'm dense) is, 'what's it about?"
It sounds like one toy in a toy shop talking to another one. Kinda like the Tin Soldier and the Ballerina story.]]> Sunday Songwriters Group scratchmonkey https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85934 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85903 Thu, 20 Jan 2005 18:13:48 +0000
Vic said something in another post that is so true - everyone is writing sad songs this week - a lot of them about broken relationships. Weird. It's like a collective SSG depression. No one tell Bob in case he thinks it's because he's back...

Which of course it isn't.

Really.




Anyway, the song.
Yes, good writing. The confusion and desperation of wanting something you can't have really comes across well. I like the lines you've put together for the ends of each verse too.

Well written!
G]]> Sunday Songwriters Group gjbrake https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85903 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85604 Tue, 18 Jan 2005 18:27:24 +0000
I found it a very easy song to get into....tells a complicated story very simply, flows well and there are some really nice lines in there....the first thing that came to mind was, "Hmm, this'd make a really nice angst-laden ballad....

Good job!

:) :) :)

Vic

Oh and a quick note to El.....if you post your songs here, you won't be shot down in flames...people tend to be gentle in their criticisms, if they don't like a song they'll tell you why and make CONSTRUCTIVE - as opposed to destructive - suggestions. Try it, you might surprise yourself!]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Vic Lewis VL https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85604 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85550 Tue, 18 Jan 2005 14:13:08 +0000
yes well I have to echo el's sediments here well done


(el if you wish to comment on songs in here go for it everyone is allowed their own opinions )

cheers

:D]]> Sunday Songwriters Group lotto king https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-85550 https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-6407 Mon, 17 Jan 2005 10:18:49 +0000
When I'm Sold

You stare into my eyes
I'm drifting away
Deep Brown eyed Gaze
I'm wishing to stay
I know I can't
You know the result

Still wanting your tender skin
Against mine in loving grace
Holding hand, Just wanting you
But I can't, When I'm sold

Gaze breaks through my mind
Still floating softly
Ignoring all your sinful signs
Passing pyramids I fly
I know It can't be
You know the consequences

Still wanting your tender skin
Against mine in loving grace
Holding hand, Just wanting you
But I can't, When I'm sold

You know if I could I would
You know if I were real I could
You know your too young
You know I'm too old

You eye pierce my heart
make me float away
rowing down that river
make me want to stay
I know I can't
you know the consequences

Still wanting your tender skin
Against mine in loving grace
Holding hand, Just wanting you
But I can't, When I'm sold]]> Sunday Songwriters Group Dictator https://guitarnoise.forum/sunday-songwriters-group/yr3-wk-11-when-im-sold/#post-6407