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07/03/2004 7:07 pm
I was in a blues band for a few years and learned all the ins and outs of "basic" blues. The guy running the show didn't have much of a mind for music so it was all just the standard progressions and such. I learned to appreciate the blues but I'm not real keen on writing in that "basic" blues style. This song has a blues feel to it but its not in a standard blues progression.
"How This Story Goes"
This game's been going on for half the night
You've been teasing me, testing me,
And undressing me with your eyes
And I can tell just what you're thinking
Its the same thing that's on my mind
The tension's pulled tight as piano strings
When you look my way, and you smile
For a while I forget to breath
You've got me wrapped around your finger
You know just what you do to me
So let's get into my car
And get out of this place
We're quickly running out of reasons to stay
We'll get into my room
And get out of these clothes
We both know how this story goes
Back to those husbands and wives tommorow
And true, its been fun
And its sad that it wont go much further
'Cause we're both in love
But we know that its not with each other
So let's get into my car
And get out of this place
We're quickly running out of reasons to stay
And we'll still just be friends
And we wont tell a soul
Isn't that how this story goes?
Back to those husbands and wives tommorow
-Marv
08/03/2004 7:26 am
Hey Marv,
Very well done. The rhyming is kinda loose, but it works just fine. The only thing I don't understand, and it's very petty, is why you used 5 lines in the first 2 verses, and 4 in the third? But the "get into..." and "get out of..." lines play against each other very well, and the choruses are quite good.
-- Scratch
08/03/2004 7:58 am
yea!!!.. an unusual topic as far as the music i listen to.. i like your specifics cuz it makes me feel like it's more a documentary rather than a fiction action flick. i like the guilty pleasure aspect. the irrational heart.. human qualities are what i adore. geoffrey likey
stop listening to me
08/03/2004 8:02 am
Place the word "bridge" in parenthesis above "verse 3". heh... I just didnt label my parts. It seems a little awkward to have two verses, chorus, bridge, chorus. But my whole idea was for the whole song to sort of have this "splash of cold water" feel as soon as the last line in the chorus landed. If that makes sense. But yeah. Its a bridge not a verse.
-Marv
08/03/2004 8:09 am
Place the word "bridge" in parenthesis above "verse 3".
I thought initially that that might be the case, because apart from the number of lines, it's structurally different from the verses. But it threw me because it fell between 2 choruses, like you said. But it works well, and that "cold water" effect you were going for is there as well.
-- Scratch
08/03/2004 8:18 am
But it threw me because it fell between 2 choruses, like you said.
All my bridges fall between choruses. It makes my writing a tad bit formulaic (to me anyway). But it works.
ha! stole your word.
-Marv
14/03/2004 3:22 pm
Hey Marv
Good submission and with the bridge identified it makes more sense than it did on the initial read.
Good stuff (as usual)
Bob :)
You are what you eat, eat well