Y7W13 - I Can (Touch the Sky)

It gets my Seal of Approval

Good - but I'd suggest a different strumming rhythm for the chorus, seemed like an abrupt change - maybe it was just too harsh and should be softened a bit.

Also, I kind of liked the river imagery, if only because I like it when songs aren't perfectly clear, although in it's original form it wasn't clear enough what you were talking about... sure you don't want to work it back in, connecting it with time?

jeremy

"but if they really say it, the radio won't play it, unless they lay it between the lines"

Ernie,

Sounding good! :D You've got some nice licks slipped in there as well as the harmonica.

Thanks for sharing!

James

Thanks for listening and the feedback.

I'm missing the river imagery Jeremy. It was vague so I changed it but it might work it's way back in.

Ernie

Trying to write something positive and uplifting after all the plane crashes.

I thought the outcome of Flight 1549 WAS positive, uplifting and definitely inspiring? Oh, bugger, wait till he sees the week 14 assignment......
Why can't I just write a song about an old dog that's no longer around?

Obviously you've never heard "Old Shep," or you wouldn't be asking that question.....well, actually, you CAN write such a song if you so desire....in the other songwriter's forum. :wink:
It's kind of silly. But my goal is to write 52 songs. It's like photography. The student has to take 52 rolls of bad pics before getting one good one. But then......hahaha......but then!!!!!! Mwah ha ha ha haaaaaa

Nothing silly there. My goal, at the start of the year, was to write 52 songs in year 7. I'm only one song behind as yet, still totally uninspired by the week 10 assignment. I'll have to have words with the bloke who sets the assignments. Er - correct me if I'm wrong, but I've yet to see a negative comment on one of your songs? You might not have come up with a real KILLER yet, but I reckon you're well on the way to one.

Ok, having got those points out of the way....this is pretty good, Ernie. The 7th chords kind of build the anticipation up through the verses, then you've got some nice changes for the chorus and a cool turnaround. Only fault I can find, the harp was mixed a little low - except at the end. Now that's some REALLY cool blues harp!

There's been three blues songs this week - Celt, Jason Brann, and now this. I've really enjoyed all three - and the really great thing, they're all totally different from each other.

So c'mon, Ernie, get those 52 songs written - I'm sure one of 'em WILL be that killer song. You're getting there. And hey, no-one said you had to take 52 weeks over them - you can always try and write more than one song a week. It can be done....

Nice one!

:D :D :D

vic