Y7W49 Vs2+Bridge - Haven’t Forgotten; Too Old For This

Lookin' good.

For the line . . . You've been brought down a notch
how about Your crown has been lost?
and
for the line . . . You want to be delivered
how about You wanted it your way?

Isn't it poetic
How things come undone
You thought the universe
Revolved around you ‘cause you're fun
Your crown has been lost
Pride goes before a fall
You wanted it your way
You can't have it all

dogbite has a backtrack that kinda fits this song
that he's using in the Halloween Jam . . .
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=644552
. . . something along that line but with a faster beat though . . . is how I'm hearing it.

For the line . . . You've been brought down a notch
how about Your crown has been lost?
and
for the line . . . You want to be delivered
how about You wanted it your way?
Those are both possible alternative lines....I think at some point there needs to be some clarity as to who the singer is and the relationship with the singee....

For me the suggestions you have, while definitely workable, are in a bit of conflict with the "clueless" angle that KR2 (oh that's you! :wink: ) had set up in the lines
"You say you don't remember
You weren't even aware"

But, "Lost your crown" someone would be aware that they had power/authority as a king/queen or having a crown and would notice the change in status.....although they could be cluesless as to why they lost their crown "Let them eat cake"........again with the "You wanted it your way" shows thought of holding one's own position.....In other words, knowing they rubbed people the wrong way, but not caring that they did......

....The angle I saw developing was the egotistical narcissist getting a reality check that he/she is pretty shallow and not as important as they thought. Hence, the support lines like "What comes around goes around; You should have been more careful; You thought the universe Revolved around you ‘cause you're fun

The things you wanted You weren't able to get
And now you ask me To forgive and forget
You say you don't remember You weren't even aware
The cards have been dealt Your hand has been played
You get what you bought The piper's been paid

Shallowness-You're the smoke; You're the joke; You're bankrupt.......but at least the song can move forward because the narcissist is starting to get a clue that something is wrong.....kind of like "You're a God" by Vertical Horizon
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-18502477/vertical_horizon_youre_a_god_official_music_video/

.....That's what I make of it, :roll: but it would be great to hear other interpretations as well.....so what does the "lost crown" and "I did it my way attitude" signify to you?
dogbite has a backtrack that kinda fits this song
that he's using in the Halloween Jam . . .
Sounds nice 8) kind of a "Doors" "SRV" fusion going on.

Nice!

For me the suggestions you have, while definitely workable, are in a bit of conflict with the "clueless" angle that KR2 (oh that's you! :wink: ) had set up in the lines
"You say you don't remember
You weren't even aware"

But, "Lost your crown" someone would be aware that they had power/authority as a king/queen or having a crown and would notice the change in status.....although they could be cluesless as to why they lost their crown "Let them eat cake"........again with the "You wanted it your way" shows thought of holding one's own position.....In other words, knowing they rubbed people the wrong way, but not caring that they did......

No, I don't see any conflict. She's my brother-in-law's ex-wife.
The story of some one who is so self-absorbed, and used to getting her way, that she is oblivious to any other possibility.
Then, when she loses that status, she becomes aware of what she had.
Kind of "you don't appreciate something until you lose it".
The reason she was wearing a crown is . . . he treated her like a queen.

Good example . . . your Marie "let them eat cake" Antoinette.
A frivolous comment towards others . . . one I'm sure she regretted . . . as they lopped off her head. :shock:

Ok, Ken. I've got your ideas listed as alternative lines....I am sure all the songs will have to go through a shimmy and shake process to make it all fit together in the end. :wink: Now get out there and get some 2nd verses up....These collaboration songs are getting harder to find "new territory" to contribute to when the number of completed "in process" songs drops. :?

You mean . . . shut up and write? :lol:

OK, well here's second verses for two of Klepsadra's songs that need a chorus or something . . .

Last Paper Airplane (JaytheJoker)

(Verse 1 – Klepsydra)
They're processing the passengers
Lined up at the gate
They're passing through the checkpoint
All hurry up and wait
There's just one more passenger
They still have to find
For the last paper aeroplane
Leaving from my mind

(Verse 2 – KR2)
It's my last flight from your world, dear
I've tried this before
It's my final fight with you, dear
They've locked the cabin door
On a folded piece of paper
Words I leave behind
On the last paper aeroplane
Leaving from my mind

Pills for the Moment (James Toffee)

(Verse 1 – Klepsydra)
You gave me value for value
You gave me t it for tat
Water for gasoline
A collar for my cat
You gave me a lesson
I needed to learn
Pills for the moment
And garbage to burn

(Verse 2 – KR2)
You promised me paradise
Instead I got hell (But you gave me hell)
Burnt toast for breakfast
And reasons to yell
You gave me sarcasm
With nothing to believe in
Pills for the moment
And time to get even

songs that need a chorus or something . . .
....back at you.......

Last Paper Airplane (JaytheJoker)
(Verse 1 – Klepsydra)
They're processing the passengers
Lined up at the gate
They're passing through the checkpoint
All hurry up and wait
There's just one more passenger
They still have to find
For the last paper aeroplane
Leaving from my mind

(Verse 2 – KR2)
It's my last flight from your world, dear
I've tried this before
It's my final fight with you, dear
They've locked the cabin door
On a folded piece of paper
Words I leave behind
On the last paper aeroplane
Leaving from my mind

(Chorus 1 – James)
I'm getting lost in the wild blue yonder
I'm going grey but there's still much to ponder
I pray it won't rain; this is new terrain
Hope's riding on the last paper aeroplane
Leaving from my mind

(Chorus 2 – James)
I'm getting lost in the ozone of wonder
I'm staying dry but I hear the thunder
I pray it won't rain; this is new terrain
Hope's riding on the last paper aeroplane
Leaving from my mind

=============================================
Pills for the Moment (James Toffee)
(Verse 1 – Klepsydra)
You gave me value for value
You gave me t it for tat
Water for gasoline
A collar for my cat
You gave me a lesson
I needed to learn
Pills for the moment
And garbage to burn

(Verse 2 – KR2)
You promised me paradise
Instead I got hell (But you gave me hell)
Burnt toast for breakfast
And reasons to yell
You gave me sarcasm
With nothing to believe in
Pills for the moment
And time to get even

(Chorus 1 – James)
Pills for the moment
And it's not fair
When I need you; I need you
But you're not there
Pills for the moment
The world can stop and stare
I'm a funked up junkie
So lover beware

(Chorus 2 – James)
Pills for the moment
But it's not me
Begging like a dog
Down on my knees
Pills for the moment
I know the room's on fire
Let it all burn
You're my one desire

I just have to tell you guys that this is exactly where I wanted this song to go when I picked this title to write the first verse. I really love all the suggestions you've made. There's some really cool stuff in here! This being my first collaborative process has been incredibly fun!!!

:note1: :note2: :note1:

Mark

We may not be any good . . . but that doesn't stop us from having fun. :D