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16/12/2009 1:12 am
http://www.soundclick.com/neilstuart
DEAD TIRED
I'm dead tired
standing on my feet
wishing I was in bed
fast asleep
dead tired
not going anywhere
not moving
I just don't care
I'm trying to come to terms with my self
looking at my future
wondering about my health
looking at my past
don't know that man
looking in the mirror
don't give a damn
I'm dead tired
standing on my feet
wishing I was in bed
fast asleep
dead tired
not going anywhere
not moving
I just don't care
am I asleep am I awake
visions or nightmares
not sure I can take
the insinuations of who I am
I'm dead tired
and I don't understand
looking through a demons eyes
wearing a homemade disguise
costumes that look amazing real
and they have that special feel
like we belong to them
but it's all make pretend
I'm floating in space,
a body down below
a light behind me
what direction should I go
can't linger where do I turn
should I choose life
or should I burn
dead tired
wake up
dead tired
wake up
the morning sun is shining
another day
wake up
go on your way
wake up
go on your way
19/12/2009 1:06 pm
Hi Neil,
Good assignment interpretation. :D I like the caught between life and death angle and the arpeggios.
Suggestion:
#1
but it's all make pretend
I thought I heard this line as:
but it's only pretend
Consider revising "make pretend"....seems a bit awkward
BTW that verse is my favorite in the song.
#2
I don't know if it would drag out the song too much, but your melody is moving a long at a chipper pace and sound, but the words are "dead tired" I kind of picture a melody line along the lines of the Beetles "Don't let me down" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O7PnvVgQvA
or
Across the Universe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLvhtf09V4g
#3
Sometimes the melody almost like it could break into a more "indian style scale" Maybe you could play around would adding that flavor....have you ever heard of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvQVxrMZB18
Thanks for sharing.
James
19/12/2009 10:39 pm
Nice flow to the lyrics; but like I said to Jamestoffee, unfortunately I can't listen at the moment - decorating the music room, everything's been moved out and boxed up, haven't a clue where my speakers are and there's no point whatsoever even trying to listen through these tinny, tiny laptop speakers. And, like I said to JT, I'll look forward to a listen.
Really is good to have you back writing again, though, Neil!
:D :D :D
Vic
"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)
20/12/2009 12:35 pm
Hi Neil,
the mp3 has a nice lullaby feel to it which I think works really well with the lyrics!
and the ending with the wake up call sounds good, too :D
i really like the lyrics, too (it's great that you didn't take the ghosts too literally.. like i did :wink: ).
if you ever re-record this, i think your original version "not sure I can take / the insinuations of who I am" is much more hesitatingly beautiful than the "i just can't take.." you're singing :wink:
cheers,
straycat.
"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin