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Sunday Songwriters Group
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Topic starter
09/11/2003 10:08 pm
(I wasn't so sure if some of the sensitive subject matter was inappropriate with the somewhat light theme, but ah well...)
(the chords aren't aligned right)
C Am
"Nice to meet you", said Mother Goose
C G
"I'd be glad to give you a tour
C Am
But I've just gotta warn you
C G C
A lot of folks don't live here no more
Cinderella met a really nice fella
She'd really struck luck with that shoe
But her husband turned out to have a nasty streak
And sent her to the ICU
Hansel and Gretel went out to the woods
To satisfy a natural yen
They last were seen with an older woman
We never did see 'em again
The feds found out about Snow White's gig
She was living with seven men, see
They took her out to the county jail
And charged her with polygamy
Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall
And sued the state for three million bucks
Now he lives down in Barbados
Guess some folks got all the luck
Little Red Riding Hood's been missing for years
Sleeping Beauty took too many pills
The Emperor's in the slammer for indecent exposure
Jack and Jill disappeared in those hills"
I stepped back and thought for a moment or two
And thanked Mother Goose for her time
"Things aren't easy as they look", she said
"Life is hard in the land of rhyme"
(C) Alpaca_Turned_Blue 2003
10/11/2003 8:16 pm
Very very clever ;D ;D ;D
Although there are one or two places where think it would be very hard to sing...... but I certainly can't improve on it...well done
Go well
Jamir ;)
I am a cloud within a cloud http://www.justjamir.com
you can hear my songs at :
11/11/2003 12:05 pm
Certainly the emporor in the slammer was difficult to sing. Some of the other lines I found tricky but am sure would work with a few attempts. I had a go at playing it and ended up putting and "F" chord before the last "G" chord. Just an idea.
Richard.
11/11/2003 9:30 pm
Okay, this is my first critique, so uh, do whatever you do with first time critiquers. :P
I like it alot. Although the only part that I am having trouble with is here: Snow White's gig/county jail
The feds found out about Snow White's gig
She was living with seven men, see
They took her out to the county jail
And charged her with polygamy
Maybe you could try this......
The feds found out about Snow White's plight
she was living with seven men, see
they took her out to the county jail that night
and charged her with polygamy
Just my two cents.
12/11/2003 5:18 am
I think it is pretty well done, but
hard to keep the timing in some parts.
12/11/2003 6:14 pm
I think it is pretty well done, but
hard to keep the timing in some parts.
I think this comment sums it up. It's fun to read, though.
Best,
A :-)
"Be good at what you can do" - Fingerbanger"
I have always felt that it is better to do what is beautiful than what is 'right'" - Eliot Fisk
Wedding music and guitar lessons in Essex. Listen at: http://www.rollmopmusic.co.uk
13/11/2003 2:28 pm
(I wasn't so sure if some of the sensitive subject matter was inappropriate with the somewhat light theme, but ah well...)
"somewhat light?" You should read some of last year's takes on this subject! ;) I don't think that we've ever had fairy tales that didn't turn out to be somewhat on the more gruesome side of sensitive.
I think the others have covered the issue of meter. I like the way you kept the whole thing in a conversational tone. That's not easy to do, particularly when using Mother Goose as your narrator/commentator. But you did a great job with that.
Peace