Y3week11 "Shift of shade in the light"

hey bluenightangel

once again you post another truely lovely piece , i enjoyed this very very much

You said that" the 'wow' might seem to not quite fit the piece"

and you might cut it out later if it didn't fit , so I was thinking if you change it to NOW IT'S EASILY DECIEVING ?

Oh well that's my 5 cents worth but it really nice

cheers

I also enjoyed this.

I particularly like the way you have used different rhyme schemes to create lyrical contrast between verse, chorus and bridge.

'Wo' is listed in the dictionary as an interjection, so it is all right to replace 'wow' with 'wo' - I agree that this will sound much better.

'As honest as they come' means totally trustworthy. My own thought here would be to replace 'honest' with 'dewy-eyed', which will give you the meaning of 'naive' that you are looking for.

Great title, lovely unusual choice of subject....

and the song's pretty good too! I really like the bridge.....very nice imagery there...

If there was one thing I'd change, the chorus could stand just a little tweaking....maybe change "Wow" or "wo" to "Hah!" - sounds slightly more jaded and world weary...and maybe change "deceiving" to "deceived" and "depressing" to "depressed".....like I said, very minor tweaks but they might just help with the general flow.....

Excellent song, though....

:) :) :)

Vic.

wow( :wink: ) thank you very much, folks:)

didn't know 'wo' exists, so thanks for pointing it out, Val. I take that then for now. I see your point, Vic(btw it's just great to have you back not only posting but commenting), hah! has more emphasis but... you can't know but this 'wo' really is something my friends and me use very often lately, kinda as an 'I don't know what else to say' word and it goes well for me with the mood of the song.
of course, this might change as soon as I got a bit of distance to it;)
and thanks for your suggestion, lotto king, but I think it doesn't really fit as it indicates present tense and it actually refers to the following line which is past tense.(?)

dewy-eyed? sounds funny. yeah it would be better regarding the meaning(too bad, I really thought it would mean something like naive/not getting something obvious, because in the book it was like the girl saying:'you're wearing that cool pullover your girlfriend knitted for you.', the boy with a shock:'how did you know?', she:'you're as honest as they come, I'm guessing, of course!')

as for your little bit of 'tweaking', Vic, I'd go with 'deceived' but 'deceiving' rhymes with 'spring' and I can't see that much difference(... 'depressing' also rhymes with 'again' in a way).. whether you say '(It's) depressing' or '(I'm) depressed'.. ?

thank you all for your kind words and the suggestions, they're appreciated :wink:
bluenightangel

Now that you've given the context in which it was used, I can explain what is meant by 'as honest as they come'.

Girl: "You're wearing that cool pullover your girlfriend knitted for you."

Boy (shocked): "How did you know?"

He could have denied that his girlfriend had knitted it for him but he is too truthful, i.e. too honest, to even think to do that, even though the girl doesn't know it for a fact. (If she had known, the boy wouldn't have been shocked.)

As the girl then tells him: "You're as honest as they come. I'm guessing, of course."

Another thought - you could replace 'honest' with 'wide-eyed' to mean 'naive'. If you awoke with a start, wouldn't you have your eyes wide open? 'Dewy-eyed', as well as meaning 'naive', was also a play on the weather theme in your lyrics.

Hey BNA!

Great stuff, the whole thing feels kind of coversational, which is nice. So many songs (in general, not just on GN) feel like lectures being given, but this is like we're just having a chat about it.
Cool.

Generally no complaints, and it seems you have had your own questions answered already!

Well, see you next week!!!
G

Hey BNA,

The 'wo' sound you're going for is spelled "whoa". weird, I know. but that's how it's spelled. Young people here use it all the time too.

the phrase "...as they come" can be tacked on to the end of any adjective to indicate the greatest degree of that quality. i.e.:

" as Honest as they come"
"as Pretty as they come"
"as Guilty as they come"
"...as annoying as they come"

Sometimes, people say "...as they get" in the same way. i.e. "He's as sneeky as they get" Meaning they don't get any sneekier, so he's the sneekiest. So, "as they come" or "as they get" are both used to indicate highest, most, or greatest degree. Hopefully, before the week's out, I'll have a chance to comment on the song itself. One thing I can say very quickly, is that I love the setting / topic / subject you've chosen. Just beautiful.

thank you very much, val and scratch! how sweet of you to have taken the time to explain it all to me :wink:
feel a bit smarter now, you always learn so much here.

I trust in you, scratch, and replace 'wow' with 'whoa'.
as for the other thing... not quite sure but I might just turn it into 'as naive as they come' (? I dunno)

thanks again, really appreciate your help.
and thanks G :wink:
bluenightangel