Y8week19 You Only L...
 
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Y8week19 You Only Live Twice

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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter   [#38698]

I don't know the first thing about James Bond films.. never even watched one, so I just borrowed a title :lol:

You Only Live Twice #2

From an escalator down the subway,
Clinging to the balustrade like a sailor's wife
Who, though she loves the sea salt on her lips,
Won't exchange her kitchenette's seasoning shelf
For the crow's nest on her own ship,
For postcard years and sea leg fears have made her dizzy

From an escalator down the subway,
Clinging to the balustrade like a sailor's wife,
She makes a call and says that this
Slow-motion traffic accident
On a crowded crossing
Is gonna be the death of her

And her sister says, “you'll live again
There are only two deaths of importance
And the first is worse than the second”

At the third-floor window,
He stands like a statue on a slalom slope
His colleagues rush past him and ignore
His mobile phone bursting into song
For the fifth time now
To roughly the same extent as he has been doing for days

At the third-floor window,
Standing like a statue on a slalom slope,
He knows it's his mother
But he can't talk to her
He can only numbly watch
His failure manifest

But if he answered she'd just say
“You'll live again, the first death
Is always worse than the second”

On a snowed-in threshold,
They blur under a leaking umbrella of words
That they collected for shelter
Or shouted to score sores
Down in a rabbit hole
With no map of the burrows

On a snowed-in threshold,
Blurred under a leaking umbrella of words,
They avoid glances but shake in unison,
Think of what they've been told
And doubt that it holds true
Or relativises the pain

You only live twice
Once before the first death, and once after it
And the first one, they say, is always worse than the second

Er.. or something like this.. not quite happy with it as a whole though I do like some of the parts..
and it's #2 because there was a version #1, as well, that only focused on the escalator persona.
Eh... well. I did try :lol:
Looking forward to turning towards the minimalistic approach for next week :lol:
Cheers,
straycat.


"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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(@jamestoffee)
Famed Member
Joined: 18 years ago
Posts: 2855
 

Hi Straycat,

Great vignettes :D so many great lines.

[And her sister says, “you'll live again
There are only two deaths of importance
And the first is worse than the second”]

I really like this idea and it drives me crazy to not being able to figure out what the 2 deaths are :evil: .....but it leaves it intriguing not being spelled out :roll:

James



   
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(@vic-lewis-vl)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 10264
 

Agree with James - so much imagery, it's hard to process at one read...and I'm one of those people who generally want instant enlightenment/gratification. Your songs actually make me THINK....can't you just do verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus, chorus?

As usual, just joking - this is so multi-layered and so deep, it's going to take a lot more reading.

And I'm guessing it's going to take a fair bit of work to put some music to this one!

:D :D :D

Vic


"Sometimes the beauty of music can help us all find strength to deal with all the curves life can throw us." (D. Hodge.)


   
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(@straycat)
Noble Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 1282
Topic starter  

but it leaves it intriguing not being spelled out
:lol: so i won't spell it out :wink:

yes, i know, the music and the rambling... my usual fallacy :P

thank you so much for battling through my rambles!
cheers,
straycat.


"oh, eventually it will break your heart" - anders wendin


   
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