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Topic starter
07/08/2006 1:42 am
Hi
August, 20 2004 - My first submission to SSG
---------( Year 2 Week 41 in SSG years)-------
The subject was Point of View to write a song using different
Points of View. I took an old chord progression I had tried to
write lyrics to kept the chorus that I had written 15 to 20 years
ago and wrote new verses for a trio of voices.
I was looking through my files and thought of this one
and realized I may be able to finish and record this if
I arranged it for one voice.
So I guess part 1 of this would be as songwriter and arranger
rewriting the song for one voice.
The next logical step would be to get these two working
with the performer and producer and see if I can come up with a
respectable MP3.
Wish me luck
Three Tales (Fall In Love Again)
He's just an aging soldier of misfortune
traveling down this road called destiny
His dreams and schemes from youth seem unimportant
can time erase the scars the eye can't see
chorus:
still he keeps going down this highway
rolling through the laughter and the pain
when all he wants is to fall in love again
She's another lonely widow of the barroom
praying every night her man will change
She remembers when he was her handsome bridegroom
the vision's not enough to keep her sane
chorus
still she keeps going down this highway
rolling through the laughter and the pain
when all she wants is to fall in love again
People come here every night to drink their liquor
I listen to their tales of woe and strife
And in every sad story there's a glimmer
of the woman that I once had for my wife
chorus
still we keep going down this highway
rolling through the laughter and the pain
when all we want is to fall in love again
all we want is to fall in love again
all I want is to fall in love again
John
07/08/2006 2:04 am
Hey John
I read the original first then I read your revised version , the original had me thinking of "Whiskey lullabuy " by Brad Paisley
( that was meant as a complement )
There is one line in here that mmmm ( thinking thinking ) that doesn't gel for me , I know exactly what your saying in it and it should be there .. But I am just wondering if it can't be tweeked a little ??
"his scars so deep the naked eye can't see "
personally I would have
" His scars so deep our eyes can't see "
But who am I to offer suggestions to anyone ...
I am just thinking out loud John , well done nice writting
music ? I am guessing "Whiskey lullabuy " by Brad Paisley sort of thing
Hilch
Here is to you as good as you are
And here is to me as bad as I am
As good as you are and as bad as I am
I'm as good as you are as bad as I am
Topic starter
07/08/2006 9:49 am
Hilch,
I'm not too pleased with that line either,bad chioce trying
to change the tense. I'm going to edit it so it's closer to
the original. I liked that line anyways.
Thanks for the input
John
07/08/2006 5:21 pm
a VERY good song here John, flows well, reads well, pictures well.
Hell, what else can I say!?!?
Nice one :)
Pete
07/08/2006 7:52 pm
John,
I just love the way you can tell a story in your songs, this is classic John Roche if you ask me, good stuff. My only comment, and it not a criticism just an observation is that in terms of the abstract of this song we've got Him, Her and the third party, but the third parties train of thought leans toward Her,
And in every sad story there's a glimmer
of the woman that I once had for my wife
For me I would like to have seen a reference to, a Him and Her in every story. Not a criticism, cos the song is fine the way it is but just an observation looking at the song from a different perspective.
Good work :D
Paul
Topic starter
08/08/2006 9:34 pm
Wow did this take a left turn on me.
After many tries at getting just a rhythm track down with
acoustic guitar I gave up and pulled out my SG to blow off
some steam. Then it accured to me, something E.Sherman
wrote (There's a name I haven't seen around in awhile)
It cries out Blues Rock to me.
You can hear it if you lean towards your monitor and listen.
See?
Why not give it a shot?
I guess I didn't lean close enough to the monitor before.
I had to do a bit more rewriting and while I was at it I
tried to address what Pbee mentioned. I'm not quite sure
I succeeded. I kind of see this as three seperate stories
linked by the theme of regret yet still carrying on somehow.
Anyways here's the MP3 and lastest lyrics.
Three Tales (Fall In Love Again)
He's just an aging soldier of misfortune
travelin' down this road called destiny
His dreams and schemes from youth seem unimportant to him now
can time erase the scars the eye can't see
chorus:
still he keeps going down this highway
rolling through the laughter and the pain
He keeps going down this same old road
when all he wants is to fall in love again
Just another lonely widow of the barroom
praying every night my man will change
She remembers when he was her oh so handsome bridegroom
that vision's not enough to keep her sane
chorus
still she keeps going down this highway
rolling through the laughter and the pain
She keeps going down this same old road
when all she wants is to fall in love again
People come here every night to drink their liquor
I listen to their tales of woe and strife
And all their sad sad stories give me cause to remember
the beauty that I once had for my wife
chorus
still we keep going down this highway
rolling through the laughter and the pain
We keep going down this same old road
when all we want is to fall in love again
all I want is to fall in love again
John
09/08/2006 1:22 am
Hey John,
I like the rewrite although I liked the original as well.
What I was meaning before was something like this:
People come here every night to drink their liquor
I listen to their tales of woe and strife
And I see myself in that man laid bare
And through her prayer I see my wife
From an abstract perspective there is Him, Her and Them as seen by the third party, its kind of like a balance, I dont know if Ive explained it that well, its just a feeling I get and a desire for symmetry when using the Left Right Centre type of structure.
Im looking forward to hearing it when I get home.
Paul