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ssg-week 10 - Joe

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(@buyguy2001)
Active Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 8
Topic starter   [#1603]

Just so you know, I had alot of fun doing this.

"Why don't you stay the night"

You been sneekin out all week
Comin' home passed two
I can't get no sleep
And it's all because of you
         Chorus
Why don't you stay the night
So I can get some rest
Why don't you stay the night
I think it might be for the best
Why don't you stay the night
Or maybe don't come home at all!
(Kind of Brooks and Dunnish. Eh?.)

"Right Church, Wrong Pew"

Limousine, diamond ring
Don't think I'm missin anything
Right church, wrong pew
Hey who the hell are you
Right church, wrong pew
I think I'll look for some-one new
Right church, wrong pew
Right church, wrong pew



   
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 Bob
(@bob)
Noble Member
Joined: 23 years ago
Posts: 908
 

Good stuff again Joe - I'm getting country and western flavours with both of these partciularly Right Church, Wrong Pew.

Bob  ;)


My Soundclick Page

You are what you eat, eat well


   
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 P0RR
(@p0rr)
Estimable Member
Joined: 23 years ago
Posts: 141
 

nice job. my $0.02:
maybe look at changing "anything" to "a thing"
- it shortens the number of syllables for that line
- all your rhyming words are 1 syllable except "anything"

just a thought. good job



   
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(@buyguy2001)
Active Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 8
Topic starter  

Thanks  PORR.
You're absolutely right,  A good suggestion.
Also thanks to SSG for suggesting  we write on other peoples titles. It was unexpected and fun.

Joe



   
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(@mjbird)
Estimable Member
Joined: 23 years ago
Posts: 136
 

Your stuff is excellent Joe.

I agree with PORR on the "anything".

And yes...this was a nice twist on the weeks assignment.  Keep it up Bob.



   
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(@christiaan)
Estimable Member
Joined: 22 years ago
Posts: 90
 

This will be very much fun to sing.
Funny stuff.

Keep it up!
- Chris



   
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